Sleep Well My Angel
by EmpressLillyMichaelis
Summary: Camilla was a young lady within the Phantomhive manor before the fire, and she loved and cared for the heir to the Phantomhive name. She will protect this boy with everything she has, for she loved him with a mother's love. A mother will do ANYTHING for her baby... rated M just to be safe
1. Prologue

I had just been hired in the Phantomhive manor. It was my first day at work, for the baby had just been born this morning.

"Camilla," Lord Phantomhive called.

"Yes, my Lord?" I answered instantaneously pausing my tidying of the nursery.

"I thought you would like to meet the new little Phantomhive," he walked in holding a little bundle.

"Oh yes of course," I smiled and hurried to peek at the baby.

"He's sleeping now, and I have a meeting to attend. You must take care of him."

"Of course, my Lord. Is he named yet?"

"Ciel, his name is Ciel."

"A fine name," I smiled he put the warm little bundle in my arms. This was all so familiar, had it only been weeks ago my baby was handed to me? No, it wasn't the same, this little bundle was warm. He was handsome too, every bit as handsome as his father. Ciel did not stir in his sleep he only breathed deeply smiling occasionally. It is said that when babies smile in their sleep it means the angels are in their dreams, I hope that's true. Every baby deserves happy slumber. For what ever reason Lady Phantomhive was not nursing her child, so I had been hired to do so. Vincent considered it a charity to my family, to employ the illegitimate daughter after her marriage fell apart. He was right, it was a charity, but we had known each other for a while. I was there when his toy company was just a crack pot dream, and I was there before he was the queen's guard dog.

Of course there was more than one reason why Vincent hired me. I am not normal nor have I ever been. My father really should have been more careful of who he laid with.

* * *

**It's short, I know, but consider it a prologue.**

**-Empress**


	2. Famished

"Hush little Phantomhive you're in good hands." I murmured to the infant as he calmed from his fit of crying. Rachel was supposed to be tending to Ciel but it seems as though something came up. She would never know her baby if she never took care of the little guy. Then she'll have my head when he calls me mama.

Any other time I wouldn't mind having the little blunette bundle with me, but today I had business to attend to. There was a young tailor that I needed to meet. Her name was Nina I believe, her work seemed promising and the previous tailor had passed. She was due here any moment, and it was near impossible to do work with Ciel in my arms.

I looked down at the little boy,"I swear if you weren't so cute you wouldn't hardly be worth the hassle."

Ciel stared up at me with big sapphire eyes and cracked a toothless smile.

"Oh you charmer," I smiled and poked his nose.

I rocked him as I stood by the nursery window. Surely either Vincent or Rachel would come to relieve me so I could tend to the work that they themselves had assigned to me. They were lucky I was doing anything more than what was in my job description. They have the tendency to forget I'm a friend not a servant.

Ciel cooed and pulled at the loose ringlets of hair that fell out of my messy bun. I looked down at him and bit my lip, how could he be so adorable and such a nuisance at the same time. My eyes found their way back to the window. It was early spring now, little Ciel' s birthday had come and gone months ago. The snow had long melted, and the small animals had shaken off the last of winter's sleeping spell. It was sunny today, without a cloud in sight. The sun had been scarce the past few days it was nice to see it up and out prominently in the sky.

I saw the carriage as it rolled up the way to the manor. Looks like Ciel was coming with me.

"Lady Camilla," Mr Tanaka called.

"Nina is here?"

"She is being escorted in as we speak."

"Any sign of Vincent or Rachel?"

"No, sorry my lady."

"Really have they forgotten that they have a child?" I complained," I feed him, I change him, I entertain him, I play with him, I get up at all bloody hours of the night with him! I have not slept in days!"

"Yes you look it," the butler spoke with a smirk. I glared at him then cracked a smile.

"I barely even look human anymore. It's even been a few days since I ate...this is regrettable." I sighed.

"Lady Camilla," Tanaka called.

"Ah yes, Nina."

I left the nursery with a groan. My arms had lost feeling long ago. I had been holding this little imp since midnight. Anytime I dare set him down he wailed like someone had flogged him. My legs felt like sand bags as I hauled myself downstairs to the parlor.

Ciel just kept cooing and smiling, he would be a happy young child. If only his parents would have more to do with him.

Nina sat in the parlor holding a few envelopes.

"Nina Hopkins?" I asked as I entered.

"Yes," she looked up quickly. I smiled and sat across from her. She was cute, big green eyes, light brunette hair, nervous disposition. Yes, she was very cute.

"So you think you're qualified to be a tailor for the Phantomhives?"

"Yes my lady," she nodded.

"Oh drop the my lady business. I am Camilla. Now you understand the position the Phantomhives hold. They as the queen's guard dog must look nothing less than stellar. It is also important that they seem innovative and trend changing, but you must balance that with custom."

Nina nodded," I brought sketches, of ideas I have for the Lord and Lady of the house."

She offered me the envelope. I readjusted Ciel in my arms then took the manila envelope. Ciel grabbed the envelope.

"Now ciel, let go," I said with a sigh. He tugged harder. I groaned and pried his little fingers off of the envelope.

He let out a defiant little shriek;I glared at him.

"My apologies Nina, the lady or Lord have not come to relieve me of the young Phantomhive, so we'll have to work around him."

"Oh that's no problem, he's darling." She cooed and smiled.

I shifted my hold on the squirming baby and opened the envelope and looked at the coal sketches some were even in ink. She had talent that proved to be most promising. I personally like her style and technique, it showed a more daring disposition.

"You have talent," I murmured.

"Thank you, you are much too kind."

"Contrarily, I am not kind at all. I like your work. You have promise, I want you to start on work for the Lord and Lady immediately. You will meet with them tomorrow for measurements." I said putting the drawings back in the envelope.

"Thank you, wow, that was fast."

I looked up from the manila and smiled at the young lady. She,was beautiful. Flawless cream skin, rose lips, soft tresses pulled in a side ponytail. The vibrant light in her eyes entrapped me, so jovial, and jubilant. She smelled nice too, a bit like rich fabric and summer daisies, absolutely enthralling and enticing.

"Camilla," Vincent called me.

I ended my train of thought and looked at him,"Yes."

"Is this the tailor?"

"Yes, um she is most innovative. Her name is Nina Hopkins."

Vincent walked past me stirring the air. He smelled simply amazing. He shook Nina's hand.

"It is nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine, my Lord," she smiled.

Vincent's skin was pale, lips a pale shell pink, vibrant.

"She was just leaving, she'll be back to take measurements tomorrow, right."

"Oh yes! Thank you very much for your time."

Vincent nodded as Tanaka began to lead Nina out. I glared at him all the while. He turned to me and smirked.

His smile was so bright and young.

"I'm sorry, my dear Millie. You look tired, and starved."

I began glaring at him again.

"Give me Ciel, rest yourself."

I kept glaring, then looked down at Ciel,"He has not eaten."

I turned quickly, heading for the nursery. Ciel had managed to pull most of my hair out of the bun I held it in. He was pulling my black ringlets viciously.

I sat in the rocking chair in the nursery and nursed Ciel. Vincent never let me go this long with Ciel, it was simply irresponsible. What would stop me from leaving the little babe to fend for himself while I attended to my business?

The answer was simple, he knew me, and he knew I would not do something to hurt his child for his wrong-doings. I was too nice to him for my own good. It was rather precarious of me to neglect myself so much.

Ciel had his eyes closed as he fed, completely content with life. He was so young, so careless, and pure. I would never punish him for anything, especially not his father's negligence. I could not blame Rachel, for she knew not of my predicament. Vincent had always been arrogant, even when we were children. He would gladly put another's needs on hold so that he may attend to his own affairs. He used to be much kinder to me then, though. Now I was cast with the common lot.

Ciel was soon full and rejected my breast. I covered myself then put the tired infant over my shoulder to be burped. After a few good belches I set him in his crib and left to talk to Vincent.

I entered the study and locked the door behind me. Vincent sat at his desk and smirking at me.

"Millie you look fatigued, you should take better care of yourself."

"You arrogant swine, do not call me Millie," I said spitefully.

"Ah Camilla, you are as mal tempered as ever."

"Just as you are uncaring!" I hurled back.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away from him.

"My dear Millie, what is the matter?"

I glared at him again," You are starving me."

"You could have gone for a meal."

"What, and leave the baby alone? Neither Rachel or you have come to relieve me for days. Not only am I starved, as if that were not enough, I'm all but delirious with sleep deprivation. That Ciel is not a restful babe. Of course you wouldn't know that because you are not up with him at all hours of the bloody night."

"Is that all?" He asked pushing away from his desk

"All?" I cried out in disbelief," is that not enough. Am I not your friend anymore, have I been cast as a mere pawn now?"

"Now now Millie."

"Don't you 'Now, now, Millie' me," I chastised wagging my finger at him," you've stopped caring for me. You take advantage of my fondness of you," my lips set in to a pout as I folded my arms over my chest.

"I do not mean to take advantage, but you do make it easy."

I gasped and glared at him open mouthed,"Nay." I denied.

"Nay? Are you a horse now?"

"Oh shut up, you idiot. It is not wise for a man as yourself to burn bridges."

He stood from his desk and walked towards me.

"Aye, do not get too close!" I warned. Still, he moved closer. I turned away from him sharply, turning my back to him.

"I am burning bridges? Will you leave me Millie?"

I sighed but didn't answer. He pulled at my messy hair, and spoke in an innocent tone.

"You can not leave. You are my only true friend."

I scoffed," if you treat me as you do, I shudder to think how you treat your enemies."

"Ah, I forget that you need me, because you only cater to my needs."

I rolled my eyes," Yes if it is not you it is Ciel, if not Ciel then Rachel, and if not Rachel then Tanaka or Amelia, or Isabelle. You all need and when have I time to eat, or sleep. Never and my dear Vincent could not care less." I whined

"I care, I do."

I scoffed.

I heard the whisper of paper.

"I have a bountiful menu for you, hopefully it will atone for my negligence."

I turned immediately, and made a grab for the papers. He pulled them out of my reach.

"Hold on Millie," he tsked.

I pouted,"What?"

"Say you'll forgive me."

I eyed the papers, there were two and they seemed to be filled with writing.

I nodded.

"And you promise to always take care of me?"

I sighed," You and your perfectly noble son."

"That's all I ever wanted," he gave me the papers with a mischievous grin. I snatched them from him and frowned.

"Apparently not all you're getting. You nobles sicken me sometimes."

Vincent pulled my hair as he headed towards the door.

"We nobles are a gluttonous and greedy lot hmm..."

"Don't forget the other five sins you are all guilty of."

He chuckled and held the door open for me, "Happy hunting."

I was gone though, out in the night. It was time for a well deserved feast.


	3. Rain Cloud

The wind whipped against the bared skin of my collarbone and the top of my breast. I took a deep breath of the crisp cold air of early spring. I looked to the papers Vincent had given me. First on the list was a noble involved in black market trade. He was strong and tall, not as young as I would have liked but he would do.

"Sir," I called, walking from the darkness.

He turned abruptly at my call, his eyes widened and I smiled knowingly. He was seeing the heavily exposed cleavage, the long split in the skirt of my dress, fully exposing my right leg.

"Yes." He answered in a stunned voice.

"Will you take me home?" I purred the magic words and watched his face flush. I walked to him in the silent night, my heels tapping on the stone of the street. I held out my hand and smiled as he took it. We walked to his manor, cloaked in the night and the veil of the stars. We left that behind as we entered the warmth of his manor. Ironically, home didn't offer the safety, for him, that it usually symbolizes for the human populous. No, it is home were he shall die.

He walked to the parlor and sat in a, big comfy red velvet, chair beside the fire place.

I sat in his lap, and rubbed hands through his soft brown hair. I first hummed softly and pulled his head against my bussom.

" Bury the switchblade a foot deep in snow

Silence is golden

She loved him, you know

Fold up his good shirts and dust off his robe

The violence is over, they told her so

Is it over? Is it over, I said, is it over? Is it?

Her mind tears asunder the heartstrings below

Years go by, still she cannot break the code

The trauma has severed the flesh from the bone

Guilt weighs so heavily on her soul

Is it over? Is it over, I said, is it over? Is it?

Veins stretched tight over a heart blue and cold

Silence is made of gold

Hurt is to have and to hold

This is what she has been told

Is it over? Is it over, I said, is it over? Is it?

Someone speaks softly through the horror and pain:

Love has gone, but it could come again.

Spring arrives quietly, warming her skin

Her heart, now red, is beating again

(Oh, it's over) It is over, it is over, I said, it is over, it is

It is over, it is over, my friend, it is over, it is

It is (some one speaks softly to me by Hannah Fury.)"

He fell in to a deep sleep and I kissed his lips and I too entered his dream.

The sandy beach was warm and windy. My victim stood across from me.

"Please take me home," I uttered softly. The waves all but swallowed my voice, but it didn't matter. His soul heard me, and he was mine. As his lips crushed mine a drank up the cloaking flavor of lust. Fabric was cast aside and as our bodies pressed against one another I fully took over his entire being. He was bland normal, idiotic and I ripped him to shreds with every kiss, every caress, and every moan that I forged until only a charred empty carcass remained. With him dead I left his dream and went about my business, taking every man and the occasional woman on my list..

I entered the manor as I had left, just like a cold breeze. I was full, uncomfortably so. My body felt stuffed and my stomach stretched.

"It would seem you took care of them," Vincent spoke from a chair in the sitting room.

"Yes, is Ciel sleeping?"

"Yes, for now any way."

"Well I shall retire to my chamber now."

"Understood."

I turned quickly and walked up to my room. Such a feast had made me drowsy . When I got to my room I all but collapsed on the bed. It seemed like I closed my eyes for all of one minute before the wailing of Ciel roused me.

I let out a loud groan of exhaustion. Must he be so restless?! I rolled myself out of bed forcefully, landing on the floor. I wanted to stay there and sleep, but Ciel continued wailing. Finally I pushed myself from the floor and trudged to the nursery with my eyes closed, as it was only across the hall.

"Oi baby, sh," I complained as I picked up the squirming babe," Are you hungry? Wet?" I touched his bottom," oh yes you are."

I lie him on the changing table and changed his diaper. Even once he was clean and dry he still bawled and squirmed.

"Hungry?"

I sat and offered my breast which he promptly reject.

"Well sir, what do you want from me?" I looked at him full on and noticed he was not looking at me but past me.

"Ah, scared?" I turned to see what he was staring at, I expected a mundane shadow cast by a toy. I wish it had been. As I turned I stared in to red eyes.

"Hello," a voice spoke.

My reaction was immediate. I pulled five pins out of my hair and threw them before hastily setting Ciel in his bassinet.

The person smashed into me throwing me against the wall. I pushed myself off the wall and to the opponent. My sharp nails cut through his skin like butter.

"Ah yes, found you."He rasped putting a hand around my throat. His grip slowly tightened as I struggled with his grasp.

I kicked him in his groin while I flailed. He dropped me and I fell to the floor.

"Leave me alone," he stepped closer as I pulled myself back, "Why are you here?" Still he moved closer until I was against the wall," Go away," I growled.

"Now now, be hospitable."

"Get. Out." I stood and launched myself at the man digging razor sharp nails in to his neck and ripped through his neck. His warm red splattered across the walls and caressed my face. The babbling brook in his neck poured to the floor.

"Mommy's ...lo...lo...ok...ing...ff...you," he choked and placed a scarab on the hollow of my throat. I jumped away from him immediately and ripped the jewel beetle off of me. It had already begun to burrow. The beetle squirmed on the floor and crawled back on to the man.

"Mother, will not be finding me...brother"

I picked up his dead body and breezed out of the house to the forest. The darkness seemed highly appropriate for the deed I was committing.

"Let's find a big stone. Just to be sure you sink to the bottom."

When would they realize, I am never coming back. How many dead strangers, called family, will have to die before they get it. How many would sleep in this lake? Would this be the watery grave for my entire "family"? I carried a boulder back to the corpse tied it to him then let it fly. I walked back home, feeling the full extent of my injuries.

"Family is over rated." I grumbled.

The nursery was in shambles, there was no way I could leave Ciel in it to sleep. So the little blue haired infant came with me. My work never seemed to be done. I never really rested any more, even now in this big manor, with this big bed, sleep eluded me. There had never been a time when I felt secure enough to rest. My life always hung on a thread, that at any moment could snap. Even if it did snap, even if I went plummeting towards the depths of hell I would continue grasping and searching for anything to keep me out of the fires. This is why I can never rest. I must always be ready to survive.

I looked at Ciel as he slept peacefully. He was a perfect noble, and would never know my pain and I'm glad for that. I want him to grow and marry and love. The same thing I wanted for his father. I love them both, even though they will never have to work as I have. I listened to the soft heart beat of the baby safe in my arms and remembered my little baby. I held her body for all of one minute before her heart gave out. My little Autumn. I could see her auburn hair, like her father's, coal eyes, like mine, along with her tan, native reddened skin, like me only lighter. My sweet sweet Autumn Paige Nightshade-Porter.

"Camilla!" Someone yelled outside my door, startling both me and Ciel awake. Ciel wailed in surprise. I hissed as the morning light cut through the half drawn curtains. I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep.

"Bloody fucking hell, who are you banging on my damned door at this hour!" I yelled.

"Camilla where is my baby!" Rachel yelled outside of the door.

I hurried to the door and opened it,"He is here with me, I assure you he is fine."

As if she had cared any other time about the well-being of her child, I bet there's a family affair.

"He had better be." She pushed past me into my room and picked up the crying child,"what is the matter with him?"

"You startled him with your banging on the door," you wailing ninny.

"What happened to the nursery?"

"An accident," I sighed.

"An accident! You are supposed to protect my baby!"

"He's absolutely fine!" I said exasperated

"I do not know why Vincent settled for the likes of you."

I could say the same thing about you, I thought.

"Vincent!" She called and left.

I hated her. To the public she was quiet and friendly to all, but in the confines of home she was reserved and distant she only ever spoke to criticize. She only ever held her child for social affairs. A selfish stupid noble who has never known a day of struggle.

I threw myself on the bed and burried my face in pillows. Frustration filled my lungs and spread through my body. I hate them!

"Millie I heard there was an accident last night," Vincent's voice came from my doorway.

"Are you here to punish me for inflicting imaginary harm to your precious son?" I mocked knowing that's what Rachel had asked for.

The door closed and I listened to Vincent step towards me.

"It's indecent to see a lady in her night attire," I said loud enough for him to hear.

"You're bruised from head to toe."

"Family visit," I said with a laugh.

"Camilla look at me."

I looked up at him with a sigh and watched as his gaze softened.

"Oh Millie," he murmured.

"Oh don't do that! Don't you pity me!"

"I promised your father I'd keep you safe," he sat on the edge of my bed.

"Yeah and you promised me you wouldn't change, we both know your promises are a load of cow shit."

He sighed,"Sleep in, love."

I looked up at him,"What?"

"Sleep in..." He stood and left.

I could have sworn he called me love. How peculiar.

I got up from bed and walked to the vanity. Ah my face was the cause of pity. My lip was swollen and bruised, my neck held finger shaped bruises. I suppose it is lucky I ate last night, my face wouldn't heal for a while. Vincent had left the door open. My eyebrow twitched in irritation.

"Is it so hard to close the bloody door?!" I complained and smacked the door closed.

The feeling of frustration came back. I snatched a pillow from the bed and screamed into it. My hands tingled, I wanted to kill something, to turn bones to dust. I settled for ripping the pillow to shreds. Tears fought their way out of my eyes and I wiped them away angrily. They didn't stop, and it only made me angrier. How dare they make me cry! They? Who is they? Why am I crying?! I covered my face with my hands. I don't know. I don't know.

"Camilla." Tanaka called from outside my door.

"Good God leave me alone, Vincent said to sleep in!"

"Ah but Master told me to dress your wounds," his ancient voice spoke.

"Fine," I wiped my face on my sleeve and looked up as he entered.

"Oh," he sighed as he came in. Tanaka held warm towels.

"You can just leave them, I can handle it. I'm sure you have a lot to do, with a social event planned for this afternoon."

"How did you know of the gathering?" He asked as he knelt in front of me and soaked a towel in warm water.

"Rachel only gets Ciel when there is some sort of social event." I attempted to take the towel from him but he moved it out of my reach.

"I will do it," he touched the warm cloth to my lip and I winced,"Camilla before I entered...where you...crying?"

"Something like that..." I sighed then took the towel from him.

"I've known you since you were little, you've never been one to cry. How long has this rain cloud of yours been brewing?"

"Five years," I whispered trying to keep the festering sensation of emotion from taking over me.

"You really should not hold in such emotion."

"Yeah, well what's the use in crying. It doesn't change a damn thing, just makes you look weak."

"You're a lost cause young lady," Tanaka shook his head.

"We already knew that."I smirked then hugged the old man, tears running freely.

"There there, Millie."

"I hate them, so much, almost as much as I love them."

"Learn to respect the nobility, if you don't you'll grow bitter," he warned.

"Too late. I was auctioned off to Vincent like cattle by my family. I suppose they weren't to keen on keeping the black sheep of the family any longer than they had to."

"It will all work itself out. I'm sure someone will take to you and he will treat you like the princess you are."

I pulled away from him and scoffed,"I'm a bit old for fairy tales old man."

"Alright, alright,"

"I'm sure Vincent has ordered you to do other things...can I be of help?"

"No, you need rest. Your body is strained from the incident. Relax today, master's orders."

I groaned and fell back in bed.

"Hang in there Millie. I'm sure there is more for you."

"Sure, and an ass will become a white steed and ride me away in a golden carriage!" I laughed,"get real."

Tanaka closed the door after his departure, an action I was grateful for. People fill your head with fairy tale nonsense so that you stumble through life with a veil over your eyes looking for some man to give you all you need. You think, on the day of your marriage everyday will be as happy as now when you say I do and sign the marriage certificate. I was a fool to fall for all of the fanfare. I mean now that I think about it, about my past, what did I expect. I should have known he didn't love me. Predators do not love their prey, end of story. I lifted my head and stared across the room at the mirror on the vanity. My face...it was painted with purple, green, blue blotches of pain. What did I care about those fleeting blemishes? No, there is one blemish that I will forever hold. All because I loved instead of fed.

My skin isn't the perfect snow white that everyone loved. It is of the land and of the ancients, damning me because I am not the same. Mother cursed me with the burden of the ancients, with their hunger and now she's looking for me. After seventeen years, she's looking for me. That's unfair, and cruel, and heartless, and everything I know mother to be.

There was a time when Vincent cared when family "visited", when he'd hold me and promise me no matter what he wouldn't allow them to lay a finger on me. Some friend he turned out to be. For five years we've been separating. When he first met Rachel he spent all of his time courting her. Back then I had father, and I didn't much care. "Nobles are nobles," that's what Father said, even though he was noble himself.

Then my love came around and I managed to marry before Vincent. Vince attended my wedding and afterwards accused me of having shirked our friendship. I was naïve enough to believe it was my fault. I made sure I attended his wedding and he was the first to know when I was with child only months after did he announce Rachel's pregnancy, as if he were trying to cast me in a shadow. Then my little Autumn came and she passed. My husband grew resentful of me because I was unable to bear a strong child, not realizing he was the weaker of the two of us. Through that time of pain and strife Vince told me that I was silly , and that he was building an empire so he could not be bothered with folly of a child. I thought he was right...so I did everything I could to make Funtom, his empire, happen. Oh but my husband was the jealous type.

"Too much damned time with that, Vincent!" He said and the liquor made a fog about the room,"you don't know your place as a lady. You bow to your husband."

And I did not, I was not taught to bow to anyone, so he kicked me down. He made sure I stayed down with every strike of the fire hot poker on my back. Yes he made sure I bowed, and I did. Until the sixth time...And I made him bow to me. I made him beg for mercy, as prey should. I went back home and found my father sick. I called upon Vince and he came, he held my hand through the sleepless nights and on my father's death-bed he promised to protect me, to care for me. Then he left me, they both I'm here, living with the sickest of sick nobles, a pack of dogs! Bound by my prey, and my father's good heart.

"Maybe I should go to mother..." the words slipped from lips out in to the placid silence. No, I can't go to mother. Despite the pain it causes me, I love my heart. It is just like daddy's. No I can't go to mother, she'd just rip it out for me. No I love my daddy's.

I fell back in bed and let myself let out five years of frustration. I shredded every pillow in the room and cried as loud as I pleased. They could kick me out! What care have I?! They won't though. The precious young Phantomhive needs to eat and be supervised. And once he doesn't need it anymore I will leave and never look back.


	4. Tomorrow

Ciel was five now, walking on his own and playing with his cousin Elizabeth.

"Millie, Millie! Look," he wailed pointing to the Noah's arc toy he and Elizabeth were playing with.

"Yes, I see." Some things weighed on my mind. Ciel was independent now...I had not forgotten what I'd promised to myself. Ciel didn't need me anymore, and there was no reason to stay. Rachel hated me, Vincent couldn't care less, and my sweet little Ciel could be on his own. I should go...I should make a life of my own. I looked down at Ciel and his happy smiling face with his cousin. Would he care if I left? Would his life be worse without me? What if he was hurt because I left?

"This is Millie the nurse for Ciel and occasionally Lizzy when she's here. Millie is a close family friend." I looked up, stunned to hear Vincent even speaking my name let alone introducing me to someone.

"Oh well, hello Millie." I looked up at man with chocolate brown hair and olive green eyes. He was young, pure, and absolutely gorgeous.

"Camilla, please call me Camilla. Vincent of all people should know I abhor any abbreviations." I threw a glare to Vincent as I stood.

"My apologies, lady Camilla."

My eye twitched, I don't like titles.

"No need," I offered my hand for a handshake, but he took it and kissed it with a smirk. I was taken aback by the action. I looked immediately to Vincent who openly glared at the man.

"My Lord," I exclaimed,"I don't even know your name. "

"My apologies, my lady, I am Dexter. My friends call me Dex."

"Mm...Well Lord Dexter."

"No Lord, my Lady."

"No Lady, my Lord." I countered smirking

He smiled full on at me,"so I call you Camilla."

"And I call you Dex."

"Correct."

I fully smiled, something I hadn't done in a while.

"It is very nice to meet you," I said in the voice I use for my prey. I felt Vincent glare at me.

"I must say the same, I hope to get to know you more."

I then realized that he was still holding my hand. He kissed it again then let it go.

"I wish the same." I looked over his physique. He was strong, young, and teeming with life. Dex looked delicious. He stared me in the eyes, with those bright eyes.

"Ah Dex, let me show you the garden," Vincent said pulling the man away and glaring at me while he left.

I sat back with the children. Maybe if I was lucky the almighty Vincent would let me eat him. He seems delicious.

"Millie was that Mr. Dex?" Ciel asked. I jumped a bit he was standing right in front of me.

"Yes, as a matter of fact it was." I smiled

"I heard him and father speaking about you earlier."

"Is that right?" I murmured searching for the book I had discarded I while ago. I know it's somewhere around here.

"Mr. Dex asked to be introduced. He said you were the prettiest lady he ever saw."

"Hmm...men have a tendency to exaggerate."

"I dunno I think you're plenty pretty..." He said earnestly. I paused my search and looked into his big sapphire eyes.

"Well, you are quite a charmer...promise me you won't grow up to be a man who exaggerates, you will say what you mean and each word should have meaning. Same goes for you, Lizzie."

"Yes, ma'am," they chimed.

I smiled in response,"Good then you will both grow up to be fine adults."

I found my book that I had so gracefully been sitting on and began to read the chilling tale by an author, Edgar Allan Poe. He was quite considerably under valued. His writing style was beyond cliche. I had grown weary of the stories of battle and romance, a good amount of gore was well welcomed.

Vincent came to talk to me late at night, while I sat with my book in the garden. Lizzie and Ciel were fast asleep, dreaming hopefully sweet dreams.

"Ah fancy seeing you here...fancy seeing you at all." I murmured sarcastically not looking up from my book.

"I've been busy."

I laughed a hard laugh, just one nothing more. A simple expression of fleeting amusement.

"Busy? For ten years now? You ought to take a break you'll work yourself to death."

"I saw the way you were looking at Dex."

"And? I am a single lady."

"You know what I mean."

"I only eat what you tell me to eat," I said sarcastically.

"Mmhm," he said skeptically.

"I thought he was endearing." I added,"I hope he is interested."

"You hope?"

"I do, then I would not be such a burden to both you and Rachel."

"You are not a burden," he sighed.

"Ask your wife," I murmured.

"This is my manor, if I want you here then you will be."

"Did it ever occur to you that I'd be happier away from your manor?"

"Away."

"I may be a woman but I do like my independence."

"Why would you leave?"

"I'm tired of waiting for someone that's long gone." I kept my nose in my book, even though I was not reading a word of it.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Vince when is the last time you spoke to me about something other than work?"

He was silent. Crickets sang in the darkness.

"Exactly."

"I've neglected you again," he sighed and hugged me. His arms were around my shoulders.

"I'm leaving, tomorrow preferably." I crossed my legs and kept looking at my book.

"Tomorrow! You can't possibly you've given no warning."

"I beg to differ. I left notes, tried pulling you aside on your free times, told the servants, I even tried setting appointments. Think of it appointments with someone who's supposed to be my friend!"

"How long?" He demanded.

"Three years, Vincent!" I slammed my book shut,"three years you oblivious swine. So I am leaving tomorrow and there is not a word you can say that will tell me different."

"I apologize."

"I'm sure you do, but I am tired of staying here in your shadow surrounded by love, when I hate! I want to be alone. To move to grow. You know maybe I'll go to France!" I stood in grand excitement, this rant had been building up in me for years.

"Millie, Millie, keep your voice down."

"I? Keep my voice down? Nay! I shall not. Nor will I speak any less harsh than I wish. For a decade it's been all about you! Your empire, your work, your beautiful family! But I am done. You lied to my father! You dirty liar!"

"Lie what I am an honest man."

"Nay, you're more of a trickster than I, the hussy, am." I pulled the neck of my dress down revealing dark, angry, violent bruises," protect me, you said! As my father died you said you'd protect me! Nay! You sit in pre'y li'l chair and drink your nice tea. While nearly every nigh' I get a bea'ing. Yes family, and monsters. More of'en monsters looking for you.

Protect me you said, protect me! 'Ow did you expec' 'o do that! You don' care anymore."

"Camilla your language."

"Oh damn you! Shall I speak proper? Vincent you wouldn't care if I were dead in the garden."

"That is not true."

"Oh is it not! I lie in these damned groomed gardens for hours, wounded, near death, calling your name! Do you know who came? Tanaka! I probably scared ten years off the man's life! You were busy!"

"I didn't know."

"You didn't care!" My voice broke and tears made the dark night just a splash of color,"I spent all my life with you, and I am little more than a doormat! I loved you! I loved you all!"

"Oh shut up you wailing ninny," he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him.

"Let me go!"

He held me tightly to his chest.

"No go away." I pushed away from him forcefully," I leave tomorrow," I said wiping my face,"Damn you! Damn you for making me cry."

"Lord Reed, wants to court you," Vincent murmured.

"What?"

"You said you found him interesting. Will you stay now?"

"No, I leave tomorrow." I turned to leave. I would not let him sway me.

"Don't go."

I ignored him and walked quickly.

"Please," his voice sounded just like they used to when we were young, and he would find comfort in me during thunderstorms,"If you marry Dex, you could be normal."

"I've been married before. I am not some hare brained little girl any more..."

"He won't hurt you like the other one did I..." He cut off.

"You won't what? You won't let him hurt me, that's rich! Tomorrow Vince!"

I left and went back into the manor. No more crying. I won't cry again, not for Vincent.

"Camilla, you aren't really leaving are you?" Isabelle asked

"Yes."

"Camilla, we care for you, Amelia, Tanaka and I. You can't leave." She choked out. Isabelle was just as short as me with auburn hair and big blue eyes.

"I know...it hurts though to live here."

"I'll miss you, Cami." She grabbed me around my waist and hugged me tightly.

I found Isabelle in the basement of one of my victims. She took him out before I could.

"Isabelle..." I sighed.

"Don't go Cami! Or take me with you!" Her thick Italian accent made her sound even more frantic. She sobbed hard enough to shake both of us.

"Sh sh sh...if I go I can not guarantee your safety. Vincent will keep you safe."

"No he won't! What care he for me if he treats you the way he does."

I held the girl, who reminded me of a porcelain doll.

"Isabelle," I sighed.

"Please!"

"Sh, come on." I put my arm around her shoulder and towed her to my room.

"Isabelle you like working here, right."

"It's because I'm with you." She cried. I sat her down on my bed.

"Oi you all have reasons for me to stay!" I flopped on my bed beside her.

"You don't have to stay just take me with you!" She begged.

I stared at her skin of cream and roses. If she wants to go then why not, I could keep her safe.

"Fine," I stood and ran a hand through my hair,"we leave at midnight," I said and rubbed my hand across my face.

"Oh uh when you said tomorrow you meant tomorrow."

"It doesn't give Vince a chance to change my mind, and ciel won't see me go."

"Oh, I see." She nodded.

"Okay little runt, go to your room and sleep I will wake you when it is time." I'd leave her sleeping in her room.

"You'll leave me, I want to stay with you." She shook her head.

"Clever. Fine stay with me, but I'm sleeping." I lie across my bed and closed my eyes. I could feel her staring at me awkwardly. I opened my arm to her. She lie beside me.

"Now sleep."


	5. Day Out

Sleep well my Angel

I was just on the edge of slumber. As the veil of lethargy loomed over me, I felt the calming sense of weightlessness in the dark of my eyelids. It was a slow doze off, and unfortunately each time I'd find myself falling asleep I'd have time enough to think so. When one thinks to their self "This is it I am falling asleep." the opposite always occurs. I opened one eye to survey my room. It would be unsavory for family to visit tonight. They would surely scare Isabelle to no end. It was hard to believe this sweet little girl was capable of assassinating an entire mansion. She was sweet, everyday was met with a smile to her. Isabelle was a nice travel companion; I suppose having her around wouldn't be bad at all. How could I ever leave her behind? What would Amelia do in my absence, and Tanaka who would help the old man?

No, no, I cannot think of that. I must go. Close your eyes sleep. I relaxed again and played the waiting game for Mr Sandman. Just as the cusps of sleep touched me, someone knocked on my door. I didn't answer hoping they would just go away. My door opened.

"Millie, walk with me," I heard old Tanaka call to me.

I groaned and got up. What could the old man possibly want? I walked out of the room.

"Millie, you're leaving," he stated.

"Yes, so don't try and stop me."

"I was not going to."

We were silent, walking through the empty hallways of the manor. It was so quiet it seemed like you could hear the house breathe.

"I've looked over this manor, and our master for quite a long time. I watched both you and Vincent grow up. I always knew the outcome of your affections. You will always be there for him and he will never be there for you. That is how things are, unfortunately. I think you deserve happiness. You deserve a home, not a house of in which you live."

I smiled.

"Then you understand why I must go."

"Yes. I also understand why you must stay. With your family so hell-bent on having you back you should be where you're surrounded by people."

"But Vincent, he'll keep using me."

"There are other ways, to show your independence of Vincent. Lord Dexter Reed has taken a liking to you. Let him court you."

"What would Vincent care? He suggested that himself."

"You will see."

I looked up to see the old man smiling.

"Fine."

"I do understand, Camilla. I understand your pain. You are Vincent's friend regardless. He needs you in a way he doesn't know. Bear with his selfishness."

I scoffed and looked at the lavish wall paper and velvet drapes. Yes, I hated the nobles, but I would kill to be one. I would kill to never have felt the pain and worry, I had once known. I suppose in a very round about way Vincent was protecting, not from things that wanted to hurt me, but from the stress of living alone not sure what my future holds. Maybe I should stay. Ah, but Rachel, she'd be glad to see me go. She would be glad indeed and why should I do her any favors. I hope my presence made her bitter and gave her wrinkles.

I smiled to myself. I would stay. However, I wonder how Vincent would react to my leaving. Would he really care? Would he feel any pain; and if he did would it even begin to touch the years of anguish inflicted on me from him? I could always try to make him feel as I did, even if it were just a little taste. A little taste of a life without me, so he'd appreciate me. My smile grew wider; I have a plan.

"Tha-" I looked up to speak to Mr Tanaka but he was gone. I shrugged and went back to my room and lie with Isabelle.

I rose at the crack of dawn. My plan was now in effect. I scrawled a quick letter to Isabelle telling her what I was doing, I wouldn't want her to think I'd left her. I then made a quick note to Vincent stating I was staying. I breezed through the manor like a ghost placing the note in plain sight, but in a place he'd never look. Once back in my room I changed in to a presentable dress and petticoat. My dress was of a soft blue, like blue bells, my petticoat a darker blue. I combed my loose ringlets and pulled them in to a side ponytail, lying on my shoulders.

I deserved a break from the tiresome quarry of humans. They were so trivial and selfish. I left the manor just as it was, silent, sleeping, succulent. All of those delicious little morsels lie fast asleep in quick heedless slumber. I am glad I'm not human, saves me the trouble of readying a carriage.

In town the shops were just opening under the rising Sun. Few were on the streets and the song of the lark sung strong and true. It had been a while since I'd been to town. It was a love-hate sort of thing. Right now all I could feel was love. The sweet smells of pastries filled my nose; the bakery must be getting started on their merchandise for today. Moments like these made me grateful for my humanity granted by my father. I could taste, enjoy foods unimaginable! Of course in England there were only so many tastes worth tasting. Father had taken me to France when I was but a girl and the food there was...wow! Isabelle sometimes makes pasta and it is...amazing! Then Amelia, born and raised in London, cooks and it's more like...yeesh. English food is not my cup of tea; however, I do love English men.

Without much thought I walked into the little bakery, I hoped for the Lady of the bakery to be attending the place today. She was so pleasant, she reminded me of Beatrice. Beatrice took care of me up until the day she died, but she lived a good life. My father treated his servants like family and Beatrice was by far treated the best, for she, by all intents and purposes, was my mother. She made me sensible, and witty, in many ways I'm just a mirror of her, that pleasant yet conniving old woman. I surveyed the cakes smiling at this realization. Beatrice was something else entirely, like an angel granted to me for a few years.

"Hello, Camilla!" The woman spoke cheerfully.

Ah, how fortunate the Lady is in.

"Salutations, Mary." I smiled.

"It's been a while since you've come. Lord Phantomhive must be keeping you busy out there."

"Yes, entirely too busy. I'm taking the day off."

"Good for you. Will it be the usual?"

"You still remember my usual, it's been years."

"Of course I do, whipped chocolate cake with what ever tea is in season." She laughed.

"I'm impressed." I said.

"There'll be a bit of a wait I still have to ice the cake," she warned.

"It's fine, I'll stay and keep you company. Most of London is still asleep any way."

"I'd like nothin' better," she spoke as she turned her back to me and set the kettle,"how's the Lord treating you?" She then began working on the cake.

"Same as always, like a slave ghost he can only see when he gives orders. I was supposed to be leaving him today..."

"But?"

"Well you always find a reason to stay," I laughed.

"Yes, well lass you are a good person. The Lord Jesus Christ will think up something for you."

"Some how I think even Christ is blind to me," I smiled at my own inside joke.

"Oh I get it!" She wailed

"Get what?" I said startled.

"You're taking a day off to set the illusion you've left," she laughed.

"You're a quick one." I laughed relieved that she had figured that, not my inside joke, out.

"Quick as a pistol."

"Yes, it seems I can't leave no matter how masochistic the situation becomes." I murmured. I regretted the words as soon as they fell from my lips.

"Now that Phantomhive isn't hurting you, is he?" She said sounding like a mother ready to throttle someone.

"Not physically, no he wouldn't do that."

"Aye, but your feelings..."

"He doesn't mean to, he's busy. I've never been one to take up time being needy, I see how he can forget about me."

"Still making excuses for him. His found a good doormat."

I sighed, knowing she's right, wishing she wasn't. I looked about the warm shop, with its cerulean Sun bleached wallpaper.

"I have a plan," I told her indignantly.

"I'm sure you do. Just be careful young one."

"As always."

"This world was not designed for the weak."

"Yes ma'am."

"Alright, I don't want to see you hurt."

"You've seen it before," I mumbled thinking.

My husband had loved this little bakery, we didn't live far from it. In the beginning he'd send me out to fetch him a nice treat and after the still birth he'd send me out for the same purpose. Not because of a random craving but because after beating me he always had a sweet tooth. I'd struggle down to this little bakery, rain, snow, or sleet and get his favorite, blueberry walnut muffins.

"Yes I've seen it, and I never want to see it again." She said in a grave voice.

We were silent then as I pondered the pain of those days compared to the pain of this. I had been through considerably worse. The kettle whistled, breaking our silence. Mary fixed my tea and gave it to me.

"Flower teas are really big this season, though I know you prefer fruit teas. This is a nice orange blossom tea."

I hummed in approval and sipped the tea. It was pleasant, the taste of citrus lingered in my mouth after the drink was swallowed. I said nothing while I drank.

"Camilla, don't let yourself get trapped. You above anyone else, deserve happiness."

"Yeah well tell God that, seems like he's giving the amateurs all the breaks." I said, thinking of the pampered princess in the manor.

"You mean Rachel. Yes, she seems marginally happy, so why do her any favours by leaving. If just the sight of you gives her a sour taste then use that to your advantage. Kill her with your grace and kindness. As for Vincent find someone else to care for, someone who will appreciate you."

I smiled,"My plan exactly."

She sliced a piece of cake and gave it to me on a nice porcelain plate. A beautiful lotus had been painted on it.

"Thank you."

I ate my favorite sweet with much delight. The last time I had been here was when Vince took me here to ask me to nurse Ciel.

"You should visit your father's grave."

I stopped chewing,"Why would I do that?" I asked my mouth full.

"For guidance. You could use a lot of it."

"Fine," I always took Mary's advice, only because it was always good. She had never led me astray.

By the time I was done in the bakery it was around 7. More people filled the streets and people began entering the little bakery. So I paid and left, headed for the cemetery my father was burried in.

The spring was quite amiable. The sweet air, neither too hot or too cold, was well welcomed. The cemetery was a bit of a walk but it didn't bother me. I liked to walk. It was a nice change from rushing around doing errands. I just strolled on the sidewalk as trotting horses towing carriages rushed past me. No one to smile, or put on an act for, because even though there were people walking on the sidewalk like me, they didn't care if I smiled or looked happy.

I cut in to an alley as a short cut and saw Dex squatting in front of something. I moved silently behind him. He was conversing with a little girl, surely an orphan.

"Do you have a mama?" He asked.

She shook her head, just as I thought an orphan.

"Are you hungry?"

She nodded. Her blonde curls were tangled and matted on her head. She probably hadn't showered since the last rain. Her eyes. Her eyes were the most peculiar shade violet. They were simply enthralling in their beauty. I tore my attention away from the color as Dex began to speak.

"Well here," he gave her an apple. She took it hesitantly and ate quickly as if the food would be taken from her at any moment. Dex was quiet he seemed to be thinking. He picked her up and began walking.

"I'll take you home and get you cleaned up."

I followed him, a bit wary as to what he was doing with the girl. Silently I walked behind him, to his manor which, coincidently was close to the cemetery. I was just making sure the child wouldn't be hurt.

"Anne!" He called.

An older maid walked from a room.

"Yes, sir." She said in a sweet voice.

"Bathe and feed this youngster. There should be some dresses fitting her, of my niece's, somewhere around here." Dex set the little girl on her feet. The maid, Anne, took her hand and led her out of the foyer.

I nodded to myself, everything seemed fine. I left the manor and continued my journey to the cemetery.

My father would sometimes pick up orphans from the alleys, feed them, give them homes, give them hope. Dex's act of kindness restored some of my faith in this wretched world.

The green grass of a graveyard was everything but welcoming. I think it ghastly that the grass dare use our loved ones for sustenance, but that is the circle of life. I trudged past the head stones to the mausoleum. As I arrived at the stone and marble building I read the engraving at the door.

" Numquam homo in bono est , in morte," I read to myself. My hand shook on the handle of the door. My free hand went to my collar bone, touching a silver necklace there. I stared at the lock. Apprehension filled my body and I was rooted in place. Why was I doing this to myself? I took a deep breath. Graveyards always smelled of dirt, dew, and death. I never liked them. When I was a child I'd have nightmares about being burried alive and the smell of the grave would haunt me even after waking. I can do this though, I'm not a little girl, I gave up the bows and pig tails years ago.

I took off the necklace and used the key on the end of it to unlock the rusty deadbolt. It opened with a loud click. The door followed suit, groaning as it revealed just a sliver of what was inside. I took another deep breath and entered. The sun lit the inside of the mausoleum considerably. A statue of my father stood in the middle of the room, his body was in an urn within the walls. He had asked to be cremated so each of his loves could have a piece of him. My hand went to the hollow of my throat touching a jewel there. Behind the jewel was my father's ashes. I knelt at the foot of the statue and gazed at the dead flowers, aged photos, and heirlooms their.

I had given my old porcelain doll, and she sat just at his feet. Tears rolled down my face slowly. Oh I missed father. He'd want me to be happy, but how does one do that?!

"How?!" I yelled in frustration, my voice echoed loudly. I covered my mouth

"Hello?" I heard a voice call and I jumped nearly a foot in the air. I didn't know if I should speak or stay quiet. Perhaps if I am quiet the person will keep going. I was silent, listening. I held my breath and waited. Soft steps retreated and I let out my breath.

"Aye well I'm here, I might as well speak to you. Oh father ever since you left, I've gone from bad to worse. Vincent's care for me is at an all time low. At least that little devil Ciel loves me. Oh he reminds me of me little girl. You know she'd be five now. And you well you'd be fifty...yesterday wasn't it. Oh I missed it. Between cooking and cleaning, caring for Vincent and Ciel, listening to Rachel nag, and calming Isabelle it must have slipped my mind. I'm sorry, well better late than never.

I was supposed to leave today, go away with Isabelle because of course she wouldn't let me leave her at the manor. Though, I don't think I would have left. Thinking about it now, I could never leave her, or Ciel...or Vincent. Their the only family I have, who was I kidding. Father I wish you were here. I'm sure I could leave then. We could visit Paris just like we did when I was a girl. I want to go, I want to go so bad, but every one ...needs...I want to feel happy again...like how I felt when I first married Leo. I was so happy...I guess that's why I'm so sad now, you only really feel sadness when you have been truly happy and vice versa. So if I've already hit rock bottom I guess I can only go up...at least that's what you once told me. I suppose many women would suggest I remarry, rely on a man to bring me happiness. I don't necessarily want a man. I want a friend. Father, you were my best friend, now ...Well look at you hell look at me. I talking to a bloody statue for God's sake! But you're all I've got...I mean, I don't feel like I burden you when I speak to you, I never did. I know what you'd say, 'How about the servants they might pose as a listening ear?' And they are busy, Vincent works then harder than he does me. I want to lighten their burden not add to it. Plus, you seem to have an overwhelming amount of free time just standing there all mustachioed," I laughed briefly at my own joke while wiping my face. I sighed and looked up at the face of the statue,"Ah father, when we imagined my future I thought I'd be so much more. I thought Leo and I would have a little baby, and we'd be off living happily ever after, but we both saw that crumble. I've got the scars as souvenirs. Have I disappointed you father? Surely you expected more of your only daughter, but after you died your sisters seized the business and the home. If only you had a will. I am left with a portion of Leo's fortune...after he had his accident..." I took a deep breath," I'm really here for a bit of guidance, Mary said I should go here for some. I honestly don't see what kind of advice a dead man can give, er no offense father, but seriously are you supposed to give me some great message from beyond the grave. I mean, don't get me wrong that'd be great! It's just highly improbable. I can only rely on my own small reserve of wisdom to pull me through this. That is all to be done. And I'll do just as you said! Or once said... I'm going to keep my head up because no one ever gets anywhere looking down. "

I looked up at the ceiling and started sobbing. No one ever wanted to admit they were alone but that's exactly what I am. There would be no one to pick me up when I fell and dust the dirt off my dress. No one would bandage my knees and kids them to make it better. No one would read me bed time poems while the old music box played a soft tune. No one would brush my hair in the morning while I was still asleep. No one would do it because the person that did died. There was no one that would love me like my father. My father was the only one to keep me smiling. He kept me moving forward. He kept me sane. Now I have to depend upon myself to look at the monster inside of me in the mirror while I brush my hair and tell her she's beautiful, tell her it's not her fault that human foods don't satisfy her, and that when she kills she's making the world better. I have to pick myself up after I've been beaten and mend my wounds. I can't expect anyone to do what my father did for me because he is the only one that could ever do so. It's time I accepted that.

"I can't expect anyone to care for an illegitimate child, the fact that my father did is nothing less than a miracle " I sobbed and wiped my face on my sleeve,"thank you, father, for caring." I stood from my place and strode heavily out of the mausoleum.

One would expect to feel lightened after finding acceptance in the reality, but I felt heavy. Unspeakably crestfallen, laden with grief, as I trudged out of the resting place of my father. I pushed the door closed and locked it again. My shoulders shook as silently wept.

"Ma'am," a voice called.

My head snapped up and I gasped. It was Dex, how had he managed to catch me off guard?

"You look like you need this," he gave me a handkerchief.

I took it sheepishly.

"Thank you," I stopped my tears immediately.

"You knew Mr. Nightshade too?" He asked smiling softy.

"Too? You knew him."

"My father did."

"Mm..."

"How did you know him?"

"He's my father..." I murmured.

"Oh..." He rubbed a hand through my his hair,"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, the dead don't care for you apologies."

I put his handkerchief in his hand and began walking.

"Wait, wait," he said.

I turned quickly and abruptly,"What?"

He stopped, nearly running in to me, "Listen, I heard what you said in there. My apologies, I realize how rude it is to eavesdrop, but I can't help but think you're suffering in that manor."

I smirked on the inside, my plan was to let Dex court me.

"Yeah and..." I sniffed to add to my already damsel in distress appearance.

"A lady with your charm, should be treated with utmost respect."

"That's not the world we live in." I smiled softly.

I watched his face go blank for a split second; I have him in my web.

"You could come to my manor, have tea I'm sure I could prepare a room for you."

I shook my head,"I thought you heard me back there, I'm not leaving the Phantomhives just yet."

"Why?"

"Who the hell will raise little Ciel to be a respectable young man if I don't?" My smile widened. This was the truth, another reason why, after leaving, I would have turned right around and gone back, "Would you perhaps walk with me while I pick up a few things?"

"My carriage is-"

I shook my head laughing a bit,"I said walk."

I began walking towards the nearest candy shop. Dex followed after a moment.

"Ciel loves candy, as do I. We both share the same favorite, chocolate. But I don't consider it a candy. I think it's a vegetable. Because cocoa comes from a plant, right. Of course that just makes me feel better about my excessive intake of the treat."

Dex laughed, "You are one to indulge?"

"I like food," I shrugged,"you won't catch me starving myself for anyone."

"Good, what's the point of living if you are only going to cheat yourself of its charms."

"Exactly. Life is both too short and too long to spend denying yourself food and air."

"Air? How does one deny air."

"Those tight corsets. You've never worn one so you wouldn't understand. Of course you may have, I don't know you all that well yet."

He laughed and I looked up at him with a smile,"I have never worn a corset." He pledged.

"Look at that, we are getting to know one another. Well I have worn them a handful of time, always by request of someone, never on my own accord."

"I can't see why anyone would."

"For beauty of course, the same reason why women paint their faces with waxes and creams."

"Well I like you without the waxes, creams, and corsets."

"Why thank you," I smiled

We walked to the candy shop prattling on about unimportant facts about one another.

We entered the place while talking about food.

"You've never had a chocolate coated cherry?" Dex asked.

"I usually keep my fruits and my chocolates separate," I explained.

"You are not living I tell you! Henry here makes the best chocolate covered cherries, strawberries, bananas, hell any fruit you can think of."

I scrunched my nose in distaste. The idea is repulsive, why would one ever mix healthy things with chocolate.

He scoffed and turned to the shopkeeper," 10 of every chocolate covered fruit and what ever the lady asks for."

"You don't have to do that," I smiled and shook my head.

"Sure I do, now choose."

"You might regret it, I have a bit of a sweet tooth."

"Go ahead."

I bit my lip looking at the display of chocolates and hard candies about the shelves.

I picked up lollies, chocolates, caramels, taffies, tarts, and anything that looked appetizing. Once I had filled both my, and Dex' s arms with candy, I deemed myself done.

"You can still back out of paying for all of this," I said sheepishly.

He scoffed,"I supposed well take all of this in a bag, sir," he stated to the man he called Henry, behind the counter.

Henry smiled and nodded. We put the candy on the counter awkwardly, while he bagged and charged by the pound.

"Ten pounds of candy!" Dex exclaimed.

I felt my face warm,"I suppose I become a child when I enter a candy store," I looked down and swept a hair behind my ear.

Henry laughed a hardy laugh,"Don't you go eating this all in one night dearie," he chortled. I felt the blush spread across my face.

"Thank you, Henry," Dex said and grabbed both bags of candy.

"Dex you don't have to carry all of that, I've two good arms."

"I'm sure, but when has a gentleman ever let a lady carry anything?"

I was silent, and confused. Why wouldn't a gentleman let a lady carry a few things, just to lighten his load. If she is able...Then why would he think to carry the burden his self.

"You look confused. You are not accustomed to being treated like a lady?"

"I...suppose not," I murmured befuddled by the whole situation.

"How long are you to be away from the manor?"

I pulled my father's pocket watch from the secret pocket I had stitched in to my dress. It was a little past noon.

"I'll let them sweat a bit longer."

"Well I do not have any plans, maybe we could partake in this over abundance of candy in the park around the way."

"That sounds fun!" I began walking, then stopped,"um are you okay walking with over ten pounds of candy?"

He rolled his eyes,"Trust me, I'll be fine."

I smiled and held the door open for him.

He frowned at me.

"What? Your hands are full! You can open every other door for me."

He smirked then walked out of the door. I caught up with him quickly.

We went to my favorite park, it was just a few streets away from ,what Father used to call, the city home. My absolute favorite part about it was the pond. It was spring, so there were sure to be little ducklings about with their mothers. Father and I used to feed them sweet breads and feed the squirrels berries and nuts. The wind rustled through the trees like a hushed song, weaving in to the smells of mowed grass, crystal waters. I listened closer and heard the pleasantly harsh sounds of ducks and the smaller sounds of their children.

"Would you like to sit by the pond?" Dex asked.

I smiled widely and nodded. I realized, begrudgingly, that, plans aside, I was having genuine fun.

We arrived to the old bench that father and I used to sit on and feed the ducks, talk about my studies, sing songs, and just sit. Nostalgia washed over me and I couldn't get rid of my smile.

I sat in my Father's spot, mostly because I didn't want Dex to sit there. He put the candy in between us. I stared out at the big pond where ducks floated like, white, orange, and yellow buoys.

"Now you are going to try a chocolate covered cherry."

I scrunched me nose looking at the box of cherries."

"You'll love it," he assured me.

"Mm...okay," I picked a relatively small one, closed my eyes, and popped it in my mouth. My nose was still scrunched while I chewed the fruit. I tilted my head as I tasted it. My eyes widened in delight. These little chocolate covered fruits are amazing.

"These are delectable," I said once I had finished.

"I figured you'd say that," he put the whole box in my lap.

"These are yours, I have ten pounds of candy."

"You seem to enjoy the cherries. I want you to try the other fruits," he said.

I smiled at him genuinely,"thank you."

"No need, while you were oggling the candy...," He pulled a box I identical to the one he had just given to me,"I got my own."

I laughed,"I told you I had a bit of a sweet tooth."

"A bit? What a drastic understatement!"

"Some of it is for Ciel..."

"Not enough to make a difference...hopefully."

I shook my head and stared off at the liquid turquoise. I was wrapped up in thought for a moment, thinking of plans, and old memories, when a terrible honk interrupted my thinking.

I gasped and brought my feet on the bench while simultaneously burrying my face in Dex's arm. Only a frightened squeak left my lips

"What's the matter?" He asked surprised.

"Mmm...geese!" I whined squeezing my eyes shut.

"Really?"

I nodded unable to speak, my heart was too far up in my throat. I could feel my pulse throughout my body, anxiety simmered all the way to my finger tips. My core shook as I could sense the ornery creature moving closer. Oh it's going to bite me!

"Go on! Shoo!" I heard Dex throw something and the waddle of the ghastly creature's retreat.

"Is it gone," I asked not wanting to look in to the little devil's horrid eyes again.

"Quite," his voice sounded amused. I sat up, embarrassed by my actions.

"So, afraid of geese?" He questioned.

I glared at him for a moment, then, remembering the plan, smiled bashfully and nodded.

"Is there a story behind that?"

There actually is, I'm just reluctant to speak them. I looked down at my feet.

"Oh come on," he teased and pulled a bit of my hair.

"Alright, alright, it's stupid though... You'll laugh."

"Try me."

I looked over the pond. My mind went back fourteen years to when I was six.

"Well my father and I were in this very park, in the same place we are now. I sat where you are, and my father in my place. I was feeding the ducks some bread and I saw I flock of what I thought were ducks and I felt bad because they weren't getting any food, so I walked over to the flock and they all just attacked." I shivered involuntarily.

"That's it?"

"It?! I was maliciously attacked by birds! Is that not enough? I've a scar, a nasty one, from the run in."

"Aww, well I apologize." He said earnestly, but his lips, like pink roses, still held a smile.

He found my phobia funny. My brow twitched in irritation but I blew it off, being shrill wouldn't encourage him to court me.

"I like every other animal. Geese are so mean. I was only trying to feed the little demon spawn."

"So, how do you feel about spiders?" He asked with a mischievous smile. I stared into those blue pools of his and shook my head.

"I don't particularly like them but there is no fear there."

"Snakes?"

"Mm mm," I shook my head again.

"So just geese?"

"They're the only animal to actually attack me," I stressed the word animal on accident.

"There's a distinction? What are there plants that scare you too?" He teased.

Damsel in distress was the plan, might as well give him a secret. I looked away from him to the blue sky.

"Well, only Vincent, Mary, and my father know...I suppose if you promise not to tell any one I can tell you my final fear. You must realize just how mortified I would be should this get out to the public." I turned to look at him, for emphasis. My eyes were met with a warm smile. That smile seemed to make me melt a bit and tears formed in my eyes.

"You can trust me." He said in soft voice.

"Well, I was married before...that's no secret. I had a little a girl who died after birth...that's no secret either. After the death my husband blamed me...He was a drinker... but every decision he made still had a distinct cause and effect. I suppose the cause was me and the ef-" my voice broke and I stopped holding in tears," the effect w-was..." My voice wouldn't work so I moved my hair and turned my back to Dex.

"Oh my..." He gasped.

"That's not even half of it...they paint my back... Later on that year...Lord Leo Cornelius Marquez Philip died in a hunting accident and I moved back in with my father."

I turned back to the man I might have just scared off. As I turned I realized he was standing.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have-" he cut me off with a startling hug.

"No one should go through anything like that, and you are not the cause of anything. You should only be the cause of happiness and love. I realize I have only known you for barely two days, but you don't seem like a bad person," he let me go and held my hands in his,"Camilla...I would like to know you, and perhaps if all is well make you my wife someday. Since your father has passed I am asking you for your permission in pursuing you as a life partner and love." He said this in a way that melted my stone heart.

"I would like nothing better."

He hugged me again, enveloping me in his sweet scent. He smelled of pine, maple, and the fresh smell of a pure lake, mixed with something else...something his own.

He sat and spoke more excitedly than before. I found myself lost in his smile, the dimple on his left cheek, the white of his teeth and the clever, sarcastic, reverie of his tongue. The way he mocked other nobles and laughed at his own follies made me laugh and smile at my own accord without thoughts of my plan.

I may have thought Dex to be prey when I first met him but I could never think that of him now. The sun began to set and we were still talking and laughing.

"I should get you home,"Dex sighed.

"I suppose, Vincent has sweated long enough."

"May we take the carriage now?" He asked with a smirk.

I put a finger to my chin,"hmmm..."

"Oh come on!"

"Yes I suppose so."

"Good, you barely put a dent in this candy."

"Well I wanted Ciel to have a nice variety."

He smiled and took my hand.

We arrived at the manor just at twilight. The stars twinkled at the furthest point from the, almost nonexistent, Sun. Dex walked me to the door.

"Thank you very much for staying with me, it was nice to smile for a change."

"Thank you, it was nice to be in the presence of such a charming lady."

Dex kissed my hand and I opened the door to the manor.

I closed the door and leaned against it with a delighted smile. Oh, what was this feeling. I held my enormous bag of candy to my chest and squealed slightly.

I then took off my heels and walked towards Ciel's room.

"Camilla! You're home! I thought ye left us!" The Scottish accent met my ears from down the hall. Amelia ran to me and grabbed me in her arms, smothering me in her breasts.

"I forgot to leave you a note...sorry Melia."

"Oh I'm just glad yer back! The master has been a mess. Rachel went to visit her sister for the day in response."

"Some wife she is," I grumbled.

"I'll go tell him you're here." She said exited, her emerald eyes were all aglow on her cinnamon sprinkled buttermilk face.

"You do that, but first," I dug in the candy bag and got her an apple lollie," for you."

"Aye thank you! M' favorite."

"Go ahead and tell the fool I'm here." I said with a sigh.

"I suppose I better."

She bounded past me, towards the master bedroom. I won't lie and say I'm not content with his being a mess over my leaving. I am just saddened that if I were to leave there is no one to console him. I do not wish him depression. I've had my fill of it and I don't wish the illness upon anyone. I pushed the upsetting thoughts away as I entered Ciel's room.

"Ciel," I sung.

He was sitting by the window and his little face beamed when he saw me.

"Millie! I knew you didn't go away! Father said you did but I knew you'd never leave me!"

"Of course not, I just got candy!" He got off the window seat and hugged me.

"You're the best mum...I mean Millie."

I smiled at the mistake. "How about a few pieces then we put it up."

He nodded quickly.

I sat on the floor with him and poured the bag out between us.

"Whoa, this is a lot of candy!" He exclaimed his big eyes growing even bigger.

"Get what you want," I messied his hair and let him choose. He chose chocolates and the brightest of hard candies.

"Millie this morning Lizzy told me about love."

"Did she now?" I asked.

"Uh huh, and she said it's when a person does everything to make you happy without trying."

I smiled at the definition," I suppose she is correct."

"Well you always do cool and fun stuff with me. Does that mean you love me?"

"I love you more than this whole wide world Phantomhive."

"You used to smile at father but now you don't, when ever you're with him he makes you cry...I don't like it when you cry..."

"Ciel I love your father like I love you, but sometimes love is one-sided, because your father doesn't always love me back."

He nodded thoughtfully,"Well since I don't like to say you cry I'll do something about it!"

"Something like what?"

"I am going to love you so much no one else will even matter!"

I grabbed him in a hug and showered his face with kisses.

"That sounds splendid."

He laughed and turned his face away.

"Millie," he complained.

I relinquished him after one more kiss on the cheek.

I put the pile of candy in to the bag and sensed a presence outside of the door.

"Alright Ciel I'm going to freshen up, I'll be back in a bit."

The little blunette nodded and played with his toy soldiers. My smile lasted all the way until I closed Ciel's room door.

I walked across the hall to my room without acknowledging the eavesdropper. I set the candy on my vanity and dat on my bed and waited.

My room door slowly opened, then stopped. Vincent peeked inside.

"Oh come in you twit." I sighed

He rushed in and hugged me with enough force to make me fall back on the bed.

"I am sorry for the way I've treated you. I get it you're right. You can't go anywhere, you're my true friend."

"Sure."

He burried his face in my neck. Hot tears rolled down the surface of my flesh and I shivered. I could feel his lips just at my jugular, causing my body to warm. He had me pressed to my bed and against his body.

"Get off of me you damned idiot. I left you a note. It was in the place where you and I put letters to each other, when we were little, in my Father's desk. If you weren't so shrouded in stupidity and narcissism you would have found it."

He was silent and got up.

"I owe you way more than an apology." He held my face in his hand and I froze. Please don't do this, please don't do this.

He moved into kiss me and I used every bit of will power in my body to turn my head.

"Haven't you hardened my heart enough?" I asked angrily, "Don't lie to me with your sweet yet dastardly kiss. You don't care about me...if you did, I'd be a Phantomhive not that pampered noble who left when you needed her."

"That's not how our world works." He said rubbing his thumb across my bottom lip.

"You're world doesn't work that way, no, but Dex's does."

"Dex?" His hand tensed on my face. My heart immediately started pounding. His tense angry hand on my face reminded my body of someone else. My hands shook against the mattress.

"He is a potential fiance should courting go nicely."

"This is to get back at me!" He accused. Vincent got in my face, his hands on either side of me. I leaned back instinctively.

"At first it was, but after spending the day with the man...Well he gives me butterflies," I smiled in bliss.

All of a sudden he pushed me to the bed again.

"What do you care?! You're married! Is it not time I was granted a husband. You know someone besides Ciel and the other servants that loves me for me." I yelled.

"You are not a servant," he scoffed.

"You treat me like one."

He was silent and moved away from me. I sat up and let out my breath. Then I noticed Vincent, hands in fists slightly shaking. I swallowed as my mouth became immediately dry.

"V-vince...please go."

"Go?!" He yelled moving quickly in my face and grabbed my shoulders.

"Leo no!" I screamed, then covered my mouth.

He stopped and let me go," I'm not..."

"I'm sorry you scared me," I explained pushing a hair behind my ear.

"I am sorry," he left abruptly.

No more tears today. The act is done and there is no need for them. With that I brushed all the emotions that wear clinging to me off and lifted myself from the black waters of lament that pulled me down with the tide. I went back to Ciel who was waiting eagerly for me. He looked away from his toys and back at me with a vibrant smile. I tried reciprocating the smile but apparently I failed because his smile faltered.

"Father talked to you again," he stated in a soft voice.

"Yeah, but only for a little bit." I went to him and sat on the floor beside the little guy. He rested his head on my arm and sighed.

"Wish he'd be nicer to you."

"Me too. Now Ciel how about we get you ready for bed."

He nodded rubbing his eyes.

I got him dressed in his night clothes, then read some stories by Lord Alfred Tennyson, until we were both nodding off to sleep.


	6. Setting the Pieces

Sleep well my Angel

For the first time in a long time I had a dream of love not terror. The sun woke me as always. I tried to cling to the last wisps of sleep, but eventually with a sigh I slid from under Ciel and went to the bathing room. I bathed then put on a pretty lilac dress. Faint smells of seasonings met my nose from the kitchen. Amelia must be getting an early start. I headed downstairs to lend Melia my help as I did every morning. The lavish manor seemed brighter than usual, perhaps it was simply because of the sun's position in the sky. I sung a little nursery rhyme from my childhood.

"Little Tommy tinker sat on a clinker he began to cry, Ma! Ma! Poor little innocent guy." I sung it in different tones and pitches.

"Singin' again? I thought I'd ne'er 'ear it!" Amelia said leaving the kitchen. Her fire red hair was pulled up in a low bun partially covered by the little maid's hat she wore. Her uniform was a deep green like the forest, her apron brown.

"I do regret not finishing my lessons."

"You were unable. You should talk to the Master."

I gave her look. Did she really think I wanted to ask him for anything?

"Right..." She said remembering the predicament.

"Need help with anything?"I asked

"Um...no I just finished."

"Oh my apologies for not being of help."

"Aye now it isn't yer job." She smiled. Melia always had a joyful air about her. She was the more maternal of the three servants," last night Vincent said we'd be havin' a dinner guest. Did you know?"

"No, but you know I am never allowed to attend these things." Any other day I might have been upset about this, but today I couldn't care less.

"You had fun yesterday didn't ye."

"More than I'd like to admit." I smiled looking down a bit.

She laughed excitedly,"Oh little seeds of romance!"

I rolled my eyes and rubbed my hand through my hair. Romance was a bit much. Dex was simply my way out of this hell hole.

"I wonder how the Master will deal with that?" She said thoughtfully.

"He'll find someone else to depend on, like his wife." I said indignantly. Vincent is not my child. I was not made to serve him.

Amelia gave me a look that read "really?"

"It isn't my fault he chose a woman who leaves when he needs her." My voice was haughty and mean,"is it not time that I did something without worrying about that man. He isn't my husband. I'm not his to use."

"You're right! Oh it's just that I've come to hope that one day he'd-"

"Didn't we all. Didn't we all pray for something to come out of this? All that came was free labor for him and a heart of stone for me," I said simply,"I am trying for happiness again. That is all there is to it."

"Camilla!" Isabelle ran in with an arm full of calla lilies.

"Good morning Isabelle." I smiled.

The girl stopped just in front of me with a beaming smile. Here blue eyes glistened as if she knew something enthralling.

"What?" I asked immediately suspicious.

"Oh nothing," she rocked back on here heels and looked down at the lilies. I stared at her knowing she'd crack under pressure. While I waited I noticed that her hair had lengthened. Her auburn locks hung well past her knees and had a mind of its own. The pins in her hair did all they could to keep the too long hair out of her face.

"Isabelle, please tell me your news." I asked growing quickly impatient.

She looked at me swiftly and furrowed her brow. Isabelle looked backed down at her flowers.

"Who said I had news?" She asked softly.

"I suppose no one did," I said. I heard Amelia's departure. Isabelle's hair began to bother me, she would get it all dirty and tangled if she left it down like that. With a resigned sigh I began braiding her hair into a Dutch flower braid.

"Alright I'll tell you. Master is inviting Lord Reed for dinner."

I narrowed my eyes as I braided her hair.

"Is that so?" I asked in a pleasant voice. What the hell was Vincent up to?

"Mmhm I heard them on the phone last night. The best part is master said you can attend dinner!"

I was silent. I knew Vincent, he didn't do things just to be nice. He always had some sort of motive.

"Isn't that great?!" She turned around and grinned at me.

"Yes, yes excuse me for not jumping for joy. It's hard to jump in heels. Now let me finish."

She turned back and sighed,"Cami you're always so sour."

"I suppose that's why I have such a sweet tooth." I kissed her cheek and she giggled. I pinned the hair made flower then moved to stand in front of her.

"Would you like assistance in arranging the flowers?"

"Yes please," she chimed.

I poked her nose and went to go get some vases. I came back to see Isabelle dancing around the foyer singing her favourite song from her home, Tarantello.

I smirked and joined in while placing vases on the tables around the manor. I made my way about the manor until I was done then got water to fill the vases. Isabelle worked behind me placing four or five lilies in a vase. We hooked arms and spun each other about and she split the bundle of flowers giving me some. We danced and sang our merry little song and when all of the lilies were in a vase. We danced in the middle of the foyer.

Tanaka cleared his throat.

"Ah, come on old man. Join us!" I said while twirling about with Isabelle.

"I will do nothing of the sort," he said lifting his nose in the air a bit,"Master would like to see you."

I stopped dancing, all feelings of merriment left my body.

"Of course he does." I murmured.

I quickly stomped upstairs, sniffing out the dirty dog. He was in his room. Of course he was in his room. What better place to take a lady than your fucking room! I stopped outside of his door. I just stood there for a moment, clenching and unclenching my fists. It was simple, I'd barge in there demand that he tell me what he wants then, once I know leave. If he wants anything from me, the answer is no. I do not answer any of his questions, especially about Dex. As far as Vince knows I like Dex. As far as the servants know, I like Dex. Dex is a pawn, simply means of getting away from this hell. No one is to know that but me...And maybe Tanaka. That's besides the point. Right now I'm going to burst in and tell Vince what for.

I bursted in,"Vincent you have some nerve doing what you did last night and inviting Dex to dinner today. I ought to eat your soul right here and know!" I yelled.

He was sitting at the far corner of the room sitting by the window drinking tea. The sun shone against him. He did not look at me, but out the window. He glared with cold indifference.

"Aye do you hear me?!" I yelled.

"How could I not? Why don't you give it a rest? Last night and today was a favor to you. A favor of in which you are paying back rather poorly."

"A favor?"

"You rejected me, which means you've grown up enough to see past lust. Today I want to see what Dex feels for you. I won't let you fall into the hands of just anyone."

I froze, my idea of being assertive and mean faded.

"What?" I asked. I could feel my face go blank in confusion.

"Millie, I promised I'd protect you. I don't want the same result as your last marriage. I want you to be happy, and maybe have a child of your own."

I didn't know what to say to that. I just stared at Vincent. He smiled at me.

"A promise is a promise, especially one to your father," he said standing. He walked towards me and I took a step back.

"It only took you ten years to hold up to your word," I sneered.

"Better late than never."

"How about too little too late?! I won't let you do this to me, Vince."

He stood right in front of me and crossed his arm. His expression was amused, the arch of his brow haughty and indignant.

"Do what?" He asked arrogantly.

"I won't let you weasel your way back in my heart, you filthy wretch!" I stared spitefully at his chest. I couldn't look him in the eyes knowing I would crumble.

"I don't have to weasel my way back in, Millie," he brushed the hair, that fell in front of my face, behind my ear,"I am always there whether you like it or not. You are their in my heart too, no matter how little I think of you," as he spoke he brought his face closer to mine. Staring in to the midnight of his eyes I felt my fire cool. I immediately turned from him, my body facing the door. I should go. I should leave and finish out my day.

"Vincent, you are right, you will never have to weasel back in to my heart for you have become moss growing on a statue, but I am not in your heart...No...if I was, you'd care that each day I become a little more lost...No I am not in your heart. Even though I've protected you, cared for you, and would die for you...I am not in your heart. With that being said, do not be surprised if one day you are not in mine...one day I'll scrape the moss off of my stone..." I meant to leave after these words. I honestly did but he touched my scars.

"I thought eventually these would heal, so the beautiful color of your skin would come back. It's my favorite color, you know. It reminds me of safety. But the honey...or is it more like caramel...perhaps a nice caramel sunset...it will never go back. No, after numerous meals the scars have lightened...but somehow I don't think they'll go anywhere. That saddens me. I don't want anymore scars upon your heart or your skin, they're both too beautiful to take such abuse. Let me keep that from happening again. I just want to protect you, like you've protected me all of these years." My breath caught as he stuck a folded paper in my bust. I ignored it easily.

"I don't need that any more, Vincent. I needed that years ago before I was scarred and when you called me a stupid ungrateful little girl who should be happy anyone chose to put up with me." I left the room.

Despite my words, deep down...I know I believe him. I also know I shouldn't, but I do. I believe because it makes me feel less alone. Vincent slayed my mood. I went to my room and lie on my bed.

How many years would I spend like this? Would I ever leave? My stomach growled hungrily. It had been a while since I fed. I took the paper from my bust and opened it. Bless him, there were names written. Unfortunately, Vincent only liked me feeding at night. I would have to wait until after supper. I sighed and rolled over.

"Camilla!" Isabelle called from outside of my door.

"Yes, my little pasta monster," I called.

She entered,"You know that is a harsh stereotype. Just because I'm Italian doesn't mean I like pasta," she fussed.

I turned to look at her with a quizzical expression, "So you don't like pasta?"

"Of course I like pasta, I'm Italian," she said flippantly. I smiled at her,"Look I found a bunny!" She exclaimed and flopped on my bed.

"Is that so," I sat up.

She petted the little grey ball of fur.

"Ve I found him in the garden eating the carrots."

I smiled,"Well isn't that stereotypical."

"We're two stereotypical peas in a pod." She hugged the little creature.

The thing was surprisingly calm for its predicament.

"Don't let Melia see the poor guy, she'll make him into a stew."

She squeaked,"oh no he's so cute!"

"I think he'd be delicious," I smiled, feigning a grab for the little guy.

"No, Cami! That's cruel! He has a name! You can't eat it once it has a name!" She cried frantically, moving away from me.

"Not true his name could be dinner," I joked.

"His name isn't Dinner."

"Oh then what is it?" I challenged.

"Um," she rocked back on her heels,"his name is...Sir...Fluffy Bottom."

I rose an eyebrow,"Sir Fluffy Bottom?" I asked skeptically.

"Do not question the royal name!" She said turning her nose in the air.

"Oh I am in the presence of royalty, well forgive me Sir Fluffy Bottom," I bowed my head.

"That is Prince Fluffy Bottom to you,"she tsked. Isabelle laughed and sat back down beside me.

"Well what do you plan to do with the Prince?"

"I'm going to love him and hug him."

"And never give it a moment of rest." I added.

"No, that's not true."

"I know it is, because when you found that kitten, the little creature never got any sleep. It died of exhaustion!"

"No, it died of old age."

I shook my head and fell back on my bed.

"Whatever," I laughed. My stomach then mimicked the sound of a whale's mating call.

"Oh, you're hungry. I'm sure Melia," Isabelle began.

I shook my head,"It's not that kind of hunger."

"Oh, has Vincent not-"

"No he gave me a paper this morning, but I have to wait until nightfall."

"Ah, I see. Will you be alright around Lord Reed?"

I sat up and opened my arms to her, she came and sat on my lap.

"I will be quite alright."

Eventually, Isabelle had to go back to work and ciel woke up.

"Millie," the boy began while I buttoned his shirt.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"You would be a really good mother," he said with a small smile.

"I was once, I had a little girl." I was in the habit of telling the young Lord the truth and all of it.

"What happened to her?"

"I lost her," I looked in to his big blue eyes and gave him a sad half smile.

"Well you should go find her!" He said passionately.

My smile widened and I shook my head,"oh my sweet boy things don't work that way," I looked down,"No I'm afraid once something is truly lost...You can never get it back."

"That's sad."

"Yeah. How about we go to the garden and play?" I smiled.

He nodded.

"Yeah? We'll have a real adventure." I tied his shoes then stood. I took his hand and led him to the garden. The weather was fair with a slight breeze, that blew my hair in my face.

"Can we go to the pond?" Ciel asked.

I looked down at his sweet face. He looked every bit like his father when he was little and acted like him also.

"Of course," I answered.

He let go of my hand and ran ahead of me. I followed closely behind him.

I sat by the pond with him until lunch time and after lunch I read him Hamlet in all the voices he loved. At around 3 Vincent entered the parlor.

"Ciel, your mother and I are going to town for a bit, would you like to come along?"

Ciel looked to me as if for permission.

"Go, if you want to." I said and nudged him forward. He ran to Vince and grabbed his hand.

"Camilla would you like anything?" Vincent asked.

"No, have fun."

With that they left. I could hear the horses prance down the drive.

I went to my room, grabbed my candy and settled in with a good book. Tales of horror and gore filled my mind. The delicate art of writing had always intrigued me. I had tried my hand at it, but no one ever read it. I suppose it would be something I left to my successor.

"Oh Camilla still reading that foolhardy nonsense. What is it? A thrilling romance."

I stiffened and turned my head slowly.

"The work of Edgar Allan Poe." I said in a dead voice.

"Well I suppose it isn't trash after all. I'm glad you've finally given up the romance business. That got you no where. It just ruined your pretty skin."

"Mother, how may I help you?" I asked sitting up and facing her.

My mother is a woman of slight stature, but immense presence. Her power could be sensed even through the weak minds of humans. Her hair is just as dark as mine hanging in loose ringlets to her lower back. She was clad in a royal purple jacket and skirt with a black undershirt. Her skin was the same light reddish brown as me, though I might be a tad lighter. Her eyes were piercing violet, no one stared in to her eyes for too long, except for me. I met her gaze without wavering. My coal eyes barely took notice to the air of intimidation she was trying to make.

"Well you could start by coming home with me." She answered and sat on my vanity.

"Sorry that's not happening. I really hate to burst your bubble, but I am never coming to that place."

"And what is stopping me from taking you?" She asked putting one long black fingernail to her cheek and tilting her head.

I shrugged and lie back on my bed.

"Ah you're so much more difficult than the other children, that's why you're my favorite." She laughed.

"What an honor." I said sarcastically.

"Oh it is. I've decided you will take my throne."

"Thanks but no thanks."

"Oh come on, are you not weary of being nothing more than a nanny. You have the most promise among my children. You have known the pain humans can cause. You have every right to live comfortably for the rest of eternity."

"But, at the cost of my humanity. Mother, your other children have come bearing the same news. Now they are at the bottom of a river."

"Is that a threat?" Mother growled.

"Oh no, not in the slightest. I was just stating facts," I smiled more to myself than to her.

"I care not about the others, they were mere pawns. Frankly, I'm glad they're dead, but you see Camilla. I've had many children and they have all been less than exceptional, however you, Camilla, exceed expectation. You have control, and power."

"I have control because I have humanity."

"That is great , darling. This humanity of yours, where has it gotten you? You are living off of hand outs from a human, a human that uses you as a very pretty doormat."

"It's better than losing myself to you." I said back.

Mother wouldn't hurt me, she didn't do her dirty work herself.

"Really, taking hand outs from a human is better than being given what you are due, in a place where people respect and worship you?"

"Honestly? No, but I tend to be a bit masochistic."

"What ever you say, dear. If you need me, you know where to find me." And just like that she was gone.

I let out a sigh and closed my eyes.

"Camilla an hour until dinner!" Isabelle yelled.

I jolted up in bed, she burst in.

"You were sleeping! Aye master said to get you ready."

My eyes zeroed in on the corset in her hand.

"Noooo no corsets!" I whined.

"Don't be a baby. Master ordered you look your best."

"Is my figure not good enough."

"No," she said.

I gasped offended.

"Oh you know you have a beautiful figure and there's no need for this thing, but master said..."

"Yeah yeah alright." I stood and took off my day dress,"come on let's do this."

She put the dreaded thing against my midsection. I whined and held the bed post.

"Oh don't be a baby, I wear a corset every day." She began lacing, with her expert and nimble fingers.

"Have you trained yourself to go without breathing?"

"Shallow...breaths," she pulled.

"Ow! Bloody hell you'll squeeze me in to jam!" I yelled at her,"ah! Isabelle! Please!...stop!"

"You are such a baby," she grunted while she pulled the strings.

I screamed in pain as the wretched thing smashed my rib cage.

"Done," she chimed.

I fell to my knees and gasped for breath.

"I can not breathe in this damn thing!"

"Camilla, have you forgotten you don't need to breathe."

"But I like to!"

She rolled her eyes at me,"Come on put on your dress. Master requested that you wear red."

"Fine," I sprawled out on the floor.

Isabelle sighed and walked to my wardrobe.

"You are rather whiney for a demoness."

"Shut up idiot."

She pulled a blood red dress that I, admittedly, loved, but had never worn. The fabric was soft and wrapped around my body perfectly. The dress was not in the least bit modest. My back would be fully covered as would the back of my neck with a collar. The neck line was a revealing decollétte.

"That dress?" I asked feeling the blood flow to my face.

"Yes, it makes you look sexy. Come on we have 45 minutes and I have to do your hair."

"Isabelle I can do this myself."

"I am going to do this because I love you, not just because I was ordered to. I want this to work out for you." She smiled softly.

"Thank you," I stood up and put on the dress. She then put my hair up in a half updo. My hair had a natural loose curl that fell nicely to just under my bust. She tied a red ribbon in the hair held up.

"Make up!" She sung.

"Isabelle!"

"Oh calm down it's just a bit of lipstick."

She used a strawberry lipstick and smiled at me.

"Are you happy?"

"I don't know, are you?"

"No," I answered truthfully.

"Well then, I am not happy either."

"Don't link your happiness to mine."

"How can I help it? I know master is probably up to something...I also know it will probably hurt you. I can only hope Lord Reed has taken a liking to you, and will pursue you no matter what. Mostly I hope you will live comfortably for the rest of your days."

"I won't die...So I can't love him...I can only use him to get out. I can't let myself love him."

"You love me, Amelia, Tanaka, and Ciel. We will also pass..."

"Yes... So why add to the list?"

"Because love is worth it." Her soft smile was sad, and her blue eyes glistened more than usual.

"I'm sorry, you're right," I surrendered seeing how much my feelings hurt her. I touched her face for a moment then hugged her,"Thank you for being a friend. I hope this works out well. I'll definitely take you with me."

"Good, I'm here because and for you," she said.

I let her go with a soft sigh,"How do I look?"

"Beautiful...Oh your eyes," she said in a slightly frightened voice.

"Violet," I nodded,"I'm hungry."

"You will be alright?"

"I've gone hungry longer than this. It will be easy to resist."

"Okay."

I took a deep breath an turned to the mirror. I turned my back to it and lifted my hair. I just wanted to be sure none of my scars were showing.

"Cami the collar covers everything," Isabelle assured.

"Girls, Lord Reed has arrived. Isabelle is she ready," Tanaka called from outside the door.

"She is ready," Isabelle called back.

I listened to this but I stared at the reflection of the girl in the mirror. Her eyes they were of the monsters of lore. I couldn't help but feel saddened by her. Nevertheless I lifted my head and squared my shoulders.

"You are beautiful, chamomile," I smiled at the silly nickname father had for me,"who you are is defined by what you do."

I turned and looked at Isabelle. She was crying.

"Hey, no don't do that," I rushed over to her.

"I'm sorry," she hugged me tightly,"you deserve so much better." Isabelle swiftly left the room. I followed her and meandered down the halls to the foyer. My nerves were frayed, mood shattered, spirit all but broken; I hummed to myself to calm and soothe my aching stone.

I could hear them speaking of me downstairs, especially Rachel.

"Oh, she can be mean spirited I fear to ask her of anything."

I scoffed at that and rolled my eyes.

"Millie is always nice to me," Ciel chimed. I couldn't help but smile.

"Is that so?," Dex asked, there was a pause, I suppose Ciel nodded," Camilla takes care of you?" Another pause,"What do you all do?"

"Millie and I play, talk, read, and sometimes she sings to me."

"Camilla sings?"

"Like an angel!" He exclaimed.

"Now, now, quiet Ciel. You'll bother the man." Rachel spoke. Her voice on the surface was sweet but I could hear the undercurrent of annoyance.

"He is no bother, in fact I enjoy the conversation. It seems like Ciel here spends the most time with the lady in question. So, Ciel, would you say that Camilla is a good person?"

"Well, mister, Millie always says there is no such thing as a good person, but relative to others...Millie is as good as it gets."

"Ciel you might be biased," Vincent rebuked,"quiet now."

I chose this moment to descend the stairs.

"Vincent, if Ciel is to be a strong man he must be able to formulate and opinion. If you constantly rebuke him he'll become soft spoken and timid. Those are two things a Phantomhive can never be," I said simply.

"Camilla how nice of you to join us," Vincent said.

I smiled softly,"Is it really, or are you humoring our guest. No one thought it nice before I came, but dear Ciel and perhaps Dex."

"Mal tempered," Rachel murmured.

"I lack the ability to put up false pretenses or lie about who I am, I also refuse to wear a mask. If that makes me mal tempered then so be it," I shrugged looking pointedly at Rachel," Though I do apologize to Dex that he was received by such gossiping folk. My father used to say, if you haven't any thing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I stepped down from the last step and smiled at Dex.

"Ah Dex, what a treat to see you again," I walked to him and offered my hand which he kissed automatically,"I am sorry my dear Reed...but I haven't much experience with welcoming guests, nor have I ever dined with them. I am usually excluded from these festivities."

"Do not apologize," he smirked and looked into my eyes. The glimmer in his eyes made it seem like he knew what I was doing. Could he know that I was only acting this way as ruse? If he did, how did he know? Did he know that I never would have brought up my lack of dining with Vincent and Rachel? Could he tell how uncomfortable this whole situation made me?

"Camilla, it was only because we feared bothering you. You work so hard, and without cause," Vincent said.

I didn't even look at him I simply answered coldly, "Oh how generous of you."

Dex kept a hold of my hand and my eyes. I couldn't look away from the pale mint green of his eyes.

"Dinner is ready, we may go into the dinning room." Vincent said a bit loud for the setting but designed to grab my attention. Vincent lead the way grabbing Rachel's hand. Ciel broke free from Rachel and came to me.

"You look really beautiful, Millie, but...what's the stuff on your face?" He asked with a slight frown.

"It's silly gunk Isabelle painted on my face." I smiled and bent to his height.

"It's still pretty...just different."

"Ciel come on," Rachel called.

Ciel followed quickly.

"Shall we," Dex asked.

"I suppose," I smiled.

We followed the Phantomhives in to the dinning room. The table was set most grandly. I would have to congratulate Tanaka on this. The silver shined, plates glistened, and the table cloth was set without a wrinkle or imperfection. I spotted Isabelle standing by the wall she gave me a wide smile and I thumbs up. I smirked then looked up at Dex, curious as to how he was taking all of this in. However, when I looked at him he was staring at me. I immediately looked away and down, feigning bashfullness. Rachel and Vincent sat at the heads of the table, Ciel sat on one side, Dex and I sat at the other. Dex pulled out my chair for me and I sat, he then took his place beside me. I sat closer to Vincent than to Rachel.

Tanaka, Amelia, and Isabelle moved gracefully about the table putting down platters of food and unveiling them. I was in the habit of thanking the three for everything they did, which gained me odd looks from Dex and Rachel. I don't care though, I refuse to treat them differently because I'm around nobility. Dinner smelled absolutely delicious, but sadly it didn't appeal to me. No, the two males at this table appealed to me. I took a peek at Dex. His skin was Sun tanned, not severely so, but enough to show he enjoyed being outside. Perhaps, he hunted, or did some sort of sport.

Vincent was the first to start conversation.

"Dex, you may consider it rude for asking, but why have you decided to court our young Porter widow." He asked.

I clenched my jaw, Vincent knew I hated the name Porter. I saw to it that every legal paper of mine said my maiden name.

"I find her..." He paused looking for the right words,"enthralling and interesting."

"Is that so?" Vincent smirked. He had a mean look in his eye that I dreaded. I stared down at the food. I had gotten salmon, with a spinach leaf salad. It was all I had asked for, because it was all I could eat. The hearty beefs and porks made me feel heavy and tired, and I needed to feed tonight.

"Is that amusing?" Dex asked. His tone was respectfully challenging. I glanced up at him to see him leaning towards Vince. My mind suddenly wondered, how much had he heard of me, while I was in that mausoleum?

"Yes, in fact it is. Our Camilla is a woman of many secrets, ones you couldn't fathom."

"Is that not the point of courting, to find out secrets?"

I stiffened a bit.

"Some secrets she will not let you now," Vincent said in a snake like tone. I turned my head slowly from my food to Vincent. I pleaded with him with my eyes, begging him to let it go. His smirk widened when he saw this and I scowled and looked back at my food.

"That just adds an air of mystery, what fun is a lady who is an open book. It makes her bland, run of the mill, intellectually dead."

"Is that so?"

"That is the way I feel."

I picked up my fork and began eating small pieces of salmon.

"You are a peculiar man. Not only are you thinking of marrying a widow, but also an illegitimate daughter. An illegitimate daughter who's mother is a..." I could feel his eyes on me and I was sure to be as relaxed as possible,"Native, to the Americas."

If Vincent ruined this for me, surely I would kill his Rachel. His dear precious Rachel. Then we'd both be widows, widows who caused the deaths of their spouses.

"Peculiar man I am indeed," he said in a manner that quieted even Vincent. He was so sure, and impassive. Vincent's stabs at me barely phased Dex, his opinion didn't seem to waver.

There was a silence where only the sound of the consumption of food was heard. I took a large drink of wine. After a few more moments it was Ciel who spoke.

"Mother," he called she didn't even blink. He called a few times before he looked to me in distress. In public, Ciel was to call on his mother not me for help, to give the illusion that she was the care taker. Normally I would let him keep calling her, mostly because I didn't have a choice, but I knew that look.

I stood immediately and went around the table to Ciel's side.

"Excuse us," I murmured then took Ciel's hand.

I took him to the restroom and listened to the conversation that blossomed in my absence.

"Camilla is not the girl you think she is,"Vincent spoke.

I stood against the wall of the bathroom while I waited for Ciel to be done.

"Might I make an observation?" Dex asked, there was something in his voice, was it irritation.

"Go ahead," Vincent answered.

"You say these things about her when she is not in the room so blatantly. Is she not supposed to be your friend?" He asked.

"It is because I am her friend that I can say such things."

"Oh, but the girl there standing by the far wall her face says different. You young lady step forward."

My hands clenched in to fist. Isabelle had been standing on the far wall.

"Millie, I'm done" Ciel called.

I immediately started to clean him up.

"Yes, sir," I heard the Italian accent and wanted to punch something.

"Are you friends with Ms. Camilla?"

"Yes," she said without hesitating.

"And is she anything they say her go be?"

"She has never shown, unkindness to me," she said softly.

I hurried back to tell dinning room with Ciel in tow.

"Are you calling us liars then?" Rachel asked.

I picked up Ciel and ran.

"Um," Isabelle began.

"She said nothing of the sort!" I all but yelled. They all looked at me and I set Ciel down. And he went to his seat.

I touched Isabelle's shoulder a silent signal for her to leave, she hurried in to the kitchen.

I took my place next to Dex.

"Dex, I am Camilla's friend. I don't want to see her hurt, because a man was driven by lust and not true attraction. I will tell you now that she is barely suitable for a man like you. You who have never seen the darkness this world holds. You who could not understand her pain if you tried. You who could not understand what she-"

"Vincent," I said staring at him with more hatred than I had ever felt towards him.

"She's a peach that fell off the tree, and was bruised." Vincent concluded.

Rachel chuckled and that was it. I jumped up knocking my chair down. I looked dead into Vince's eyes.

"Do you not mean the peach that was plucked off and thrown to the ground only to have everyone step on it? I didn't make it happen nor was it some simple law of nature! It was the cruelty of man! Vincent maybe he won't understand these things about me, but is it not up to me to explain, to say my part of the story, without you wagging your spade tongue! I thought you were doing this to help me! I should have known better." I clenched my jaw and noticed Ciel staring at me surprised. I calmed and picked up my chair,"Forgive me, Dex, Ciel," I apologized to the two, "Excuse me," I left quickly. I went out in to the gardens and took deep breaths. I wanted to kill something. The spring breeze blew threw my hair and into my lungs but it did not blow away my rage.

Father's lullaby came to mind and I sung it as loudly as I could.

" Sing a song of sixpence, pocket full of rye

Hush-a bye my baby, no need to be crying.

You can burn the midnight oil with me

As long as you will

Stare out at the moon

Upon the windowsill, and dream...

Sing a song of sixpence, pocket full of rye

Hush-a bye my baby, no need to be crying.

There's dew drops on the window sill,

Gumdrops in your head

Slipping into dream land,

You're nodding your head, so dream...

Dream of West Virginia, or of the British Isles

'Cause when you are dreaming,

You see for miles and miles.

When you are much older, remember when we sat

At midnight on the windowsill,

And had this little chat

And dream, come on and dream,

Come on and dream, and dream, and dream...

(Midnight Lullaby Tom Waits)"

I hummed the tune a bit longer as my anger slowly subsided.

"That was a beautiful song."

I laughed,"You're still here? I thought Vincent might have scared you off."

"He's just a man who wishes to discredit you, to keep you. I don't believe a word of it and neither should you." His jacket was off and the sleeves of his shirt pushed up just at his elbow showing the smooth skin of his forearms.

"I shouldn't? He's known me all of my life, surely he knows a thing or two about me."

"That doesn't mean what he says is true. If he found something he liked-"

"Have you?" I asked smiling and tilted my head.

"Pardon," his mint eyes widened.

"Have you found something you like?" I asked errantly grabbing one of the the locks that had escaped my half updo and twisting it around my finger.

"I've found several somethings, and you?"

"I've unveiled a few treasures." I admitted walking towards him.

"Well good, we'll raise hell for Vincent and Rachel," he smiled brightly. His smile was slightly uneven the side with his dimple went higher than the other. It was an adorable imperfection.

"Hell?" I asked astounded by the declaration.

"Oh Come now, I bit of revenge is due after all they said about you. Nothing gets back at them more, than your happiness and I'm sure Ciel would like to see you smile for a change."

"Ciel?"

"Oh yes you've raised the boy well, he even takes after you a bit."

I was more than a bit confused, caught in the whirl wind of his words.

"Thank you," I managed to say.

"We'll give it a few months, and maybe, if you will still have me, we can marry."

"If you prove to be everything I think you are, there is no 'if' about it."

He took my hand and began walking. He was silent and that was nice. I've always enjoyed a person who doesn't feel the need to fill every second with meaningless chatter. The evening pressed on, and no one bothered us, or maybe they were trying and just could find us. Either way I was content with it. After tonight, I hated Rachel a little more and loved Vincent a little less. Dex had become the queen in my game. A partner in crime more essential than the other pieces. The board was set, and whether Vincent knew it or not the game is on.

I moved closer to Dex and rested my head on his upper arm. He was able bodied, muscular, more than Vincent by a long shot. That confused me. The normal noble would never have need or means to get muscular. Muscles came from need or obsession and nobles had neither. So why was Dex so firm, so strong? Sports? Hunting? Did it matter? I like it. Somehow it makes me feel safe. Marriage, shouldn't prove so bad with him...as long as he didn't change. If he did I would just kill him, and take his fortune. For this is my own game with its own rules. Let the games begin


	7. Favorite Places

After Dex left, I immediately changed clothes and went out. The paper Vincent gave me was still in my bust. I looked at the first name and followed instinct to them. He was already fast asleep in bed, which made my job easier. I lie between him and his wife and rested my head on his chest. His dreams were of sitting on a lake. Just sitting on a boat in a lake. I broke the surface of the water and struggled as if I needed help. He helped me immediately pulling me up on to the boat.

"Take me home!" I spoke, and his lips crashed down on mine. His soul rushed into my mouth, as if it were eager to be consumed. I could feel my waking body tear him apart, while my subconscious humored him with kisses and caresses. My anger, once repressed, simmered to the surface and as the man fully succumbed to lust I finished eating his soul.

I left his dream and I must have stirred the bed, for his wife started awake. Her screams were most unwanted and very short lived. I ripped out her vocal chords with a growl. Her blood sprayed across my face. Her screams ended with a gurgle. I pressed my mouth to hers and drank up the leaving soul. Her warm blood was all over me. I laughed for a bit rubbing the red all over me. Then I looked at their faces, eyes open in horror. Tears met my eyes but I shrugged them off and went to the next person.

I woke up in a daze in the morning. I felt uncomfortably full. I was surprisingly clean. I lie there for a moment trying to remember the night. It was all a blurry. That was never a good sign. There was no telling whether I killed innocents or criminals. I sat up with a groan.

"You are quite a handful, Camilla." Vincent spoke from across the room.

"I suppose so," I laughed,"ow," I touched my jaw and found the skin there tender.

"Sorry, about that, but I had to sedate you some how," he sighed.

"Sedate me?" I asked appalled by the idea.

"You were hysterical,"he explained indifferently, "of course it's my fault."

"Probably," I agreed rubbing my jaw. The pain gripped through my temple. It was obvious he had struck me, but why?

"You were threatening to kill me. It's not like I don't deserve it, but I'm not going to roll over and die."

"I threatened..."

"Something about, me trying to ruin your happiness," he said flippantly

"Well, I was right," I flexed my jaw for a moment," I'm surprised I didn't go for Rachel first."

"Don't go hunting while angry," Vincent ordered. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"How about don't make me angry?" I got up and went to my vanity and looked at my cheek. The bruise had long healed but it still hurt.

"That's a rather tedious chore, is it not? Who am I to know what makes you tick?"

"You would be a friend. Of course since you obviously aren't that any more we should just go for the whole treat others how you wish to be treated rule."

"We aren't friends?" He said with faux surprise and hurt.

"I am your friend, you aren't mine."

"That can be?"

I stared at him in the mirror.

"I'd still do anything for you," I sighed.

"And you're saying I wouldn't do the same?"

"Not without condition, or gain."

"Oh surely you don't think so little of me."

"Oh but I do, after years of dealing with you, I have no reason to put you in high regards."

I turned from the mirror and stared at Vincent.

"Have I been so horrid to you?"

"Yes. Though I'm sure you'll think me ungrateful. At first your letting me in your home was a great act of kindness, but now you hold me prisoner."

"I do not want the world to hurt you."

"So you hurt me instead?" I asked.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw several times then got up,"There's a meeting tonight, Dex called for your company today."

"Really?" I cracked a big smile. Of course it was fake but it did its purpose.

Vincent scrutinized my expression, the corners of his mouth turned down,"Yes, so make yourself presentable, he'll be here at noon."

"Splendid," I said and hurriedly got up, as if to ready myself.

Vincent shut the door with unnecessary force. I smiled to myself; was all this over my potential to leave? Did Vincent really hate the idea of me living comfortably that much? I'm sure more than I would fine that hilarious. Old undertaker would get a kick out of this. Undertaker was my only friend among the people in Vincent's "meetings". He has them every know and again. I think it's just to survey his pieces, to see which pieces have fallen, need to be pushed down, or deserve to be brought up a rank. Apparently, I am a hot commodity. I mean who didn't want a pet succubus to eat the souls of their enemies? Vincent never had to get his hands dirty. I did all of the dirty work for him. I was the only one he trusted to take care of his enemies, Undertaker was entrusted to get rid of the bodies. The rest of the people were nameless, save Lau, and were only informants. Undertaker was the only interesting one, the rest were boring pigs.

I took care and got myself ready. I chose an indigo, fish tail skirt, white button up with a ruffley jabot and sleeve and an indigo over coat. I left my hair down mostly because I did not feel like doing anything more complicated.

I hurried down stairs to the kitchen. Melia was just getting started.

"Oh good I can help!" I smiled and put on an apron and washed my hands.

"Great," she smiled at me.

We worked well in the kitchen together, and breakfast would be prepared quickly. I loved the feeling of helping, lightening the load of the servants. It wasn't fair that they had to do such hard work, it is not their fault they weren't born a noble. The least I could do was lend a helping hand.

While I cooked I let my mind wander. I wonder if affairs all over England were peaceful except for in London? Vincent had not been out on an assignment in a while and I hadn't had to venture for food or be a spy of any sort. Odd...And ominous, there must be a storm brewing. Father always said, "Nothing good ever came from dead silence in a shouting crowd."

"Melia, you may want to rethink your idea of kneading the dough," Isabelle spoke softly as she entered.

I looked up at her. I sighed looking at her long hair pulled messily in to bun.

"Why, there's no be'er way to knead than with a mallot 'n a helpin' hand."

"Rain, it'll come this afternoon." She said in a sure voice.

"Do you think, master'll still have the meeting?" Melia asked.

"Oh I'm sure he will, and the nobles will refuse to go back out in the rain and stay the night." I said disdainfully.

They both sighed heavily.

"The lady was supposed to go to her mother's for a visit, that is one less noble to deal with."Isabelle spoke

"Dex was supposed to come..." I said more to myself than to them.

"Maybe he'll room with you, aye lass," Melia teased, bumping me with her hip.

"That's indecent," I chided.

"But it would be fun," Isabelle chimed smiling a sly smile.

"Please ladies, we have more than enough rooms here. Plus, I doubt he could handle a night with me," I winked and the two ladies laughed.

"The looks of the lad states otherwise."

"If things go as I hope, we'll see in due time," I smiled.

During breakfast Rachel announced she'd be visiting her mother and she left after lunch. A few hours later Dex showed. He came to cancel because of the rain.

"Aww, Dex!" I whined, acting severely disappointed," can't you come in, we'll entertain ourselves indoors," I suggested.

"But to be trapped indoors..." He bit the supple skin of his bottom lip, deliberating.

"Then we could dance in the rain, like children," I grabbed his hand and gave a pleading smile.

He looked down at me for a moment then smiled," How can I say no to a face like that?" He sighed theatrically.

"So that's a yes?!" I smiled at him.

"I suppose it is."

I laughed and pulled him in, "Good I thought you were going to make me beg."

"Would you really dance in the rain?"

"Of course! The spring weather is fine and the rain is finer. Why, father and I used to run in the rain all the time."

"No wonder the man got sick." Vincent said. I turned abruptly and glared at him. I let anger burn past my hurt.

"Vincent, nice to see you," Dex said with a nod.

"I wish I could say the same." Vincent said openly rude.

"Vincent, I am always polite to your guests, no matter how boarish they are to me, would you grant me the same kindness?"

He stared at me and gritted his teeth.

"Or should I leave," I asked honestly.

"Fine," he huffed.

I smiled a sweet smile,"Thank you."

I turned away from the pouting idiot and turned my attention towards Dex.

"May I show you my favourite part of this manor?" I asked.

"Is it the kitchen?" He smiled mischeviously

I hit his arm playfully.

"That is only my third favorite."

He furrowed his brow, three little wrinkles forming between them.

"What are the other two?" He asked. He seemed genuinely curious, not just humoring like Vincent did sometimes.

"I'll show you," I grabbed his hand, subconsciously startled by their chill. I pulled him along, trying to cover as much of his cold hand with my warm hand. Of course, it was futile. His hands were much larger than mine. It was not cold outside or here in the manor, perhaps his circulation was bad. Humans are riddled with such ailments. The flow of blood is life or death to them.

"You look lovely," Dex spoke, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Do you prefer this over my look yesterday?"

"Immensely, this is more you."

I smiled to myself. What did he know of me?

"It is nice not to be in such restrictions anymore."

I looked up at him and found him staring intently at our hands. I looked in his eyes and saw awe. I hadn't experienced such a look in a while.

I turned forward abruptly. This only meant my plan was succeeding.

We met mahogany double doors and I stopped and put on an excited smile.

"Behind these doors lies knowledge that phantomhive as well as Nightshade has added to."

I pushed open the doors to show the vast library.

"This is a magnificent collection without a doubt."

"Yes, and I am very obliged to say I am the main contributor."

I stared at the large shelves with satisfaction.

"Really, I should have known you were reader." He laughed.

I walked inside the library, headed to my favorite section of books.

"Is there anything wrong with that?" I asked.

"Not in the slightest, it's just that few women your age are interested in books."

I counted the shelves only half listening to him.

"Have you surveyed many women my age?" My voice held an unintentional edge. I have to be sweeter, he is not mine he can survey whom ever he'd like. I just have to be sure I am better than them.

"Only two, if you do not count my nieces." He assured.

I reached the sixth row of shelves, and turned down the aisle.

"Two? Are you still surveying?" I asked forcing my voice to sound only politely interested.

"No, the two were not what I was looking for?"

I began counting again looking for a specific book or rather set of books.

"Is that so? So, what is it you are looking for?" I asked in an off hand manner.

He was silent for a while.

"I apologize, was that out of line?" I asked placing my finger on the book I was on before looking back.

"Oh no, I'm just trying to phrase my thoughts." He said. His brow was furrowed again allowing for the three wrinkles to show themselves again.

Bloody hell what number was I on? 66? Yes, so 67...

"I don't just want some pretty lady by my side. With age, beauty fades...I want to find something truly enthralling within her. I want to find a friend within her."

"That's sweet, I'm glad you've realized the key to marriage. Not everyone does it right," I grumbled, thinking briefly of my own folly. I was young and romantic. I believed in love at first sight. It was just a bit of lust though; I have grown very familiar with that sin.

"Which is why I'm obliged to think that you might have a bit more promise. You're wise for your years, pain has made you that way. I am positive that you are not some silly girl that will fall in love with the idea of me, as opposed to what I really am."

I smiled. 271...the man was right.

"That is how you create I relatively successful marriage. I do see you for you. Or rather I think I do...for I have made no assumptions or broad ideas. My only thoughts of you center around what you have shown me through actions or words. I should say that I shall not be surprise by anything you do, unless you undergo a character change."

"I might say the same of you, unfortunately you tend to guard yourself, so I must also sift through words from others."

I frowned but kept my eyes on the books. 527...

"Hmm... I hope you're good at sifting...rumors about me are not usually good."

"There are never good rumors about widows."

I laughed...though it wasn't really a laugh, just a jump of my chest and a bit more air leaving my nostrils.

"Yes, but Mary...She told me a thing or two."

"Mary at the bakery?" I asked.

My nails brushed against the bindings of books as I walked past them. 601...

"Yes, she speaks of you in high regards."

"She's a generous woman." I said with a smirk.

"But she has her speculations," he said.

His tone of voice stopped my feet. It was as if he knew some deep dark secret. Had I told Mary anything of myself?

"Then of course I spoke a bit more to Vincent."

My hand brushed past the bindings of books I had already read. Ah...666 I pulled the 6 books down and held them to my chest.

"They all seem to think that you are dangerous."

"They are correct." I said, again only half aware of his and my words.

"They also seem to think that you are hurting."

I opened the leather book on top,"These are my father's journals," I said all but disregarding what he had just said. It's fine for him to think I'm dangerous; I am dangerous. However, no one needs to think I'm hurting. I don't care for their pity.

I walked through the aisle towards the back of the library.

"There are many more but these were written during the time when I was born, and growing up. When my father died his eldest sister and her husband took the manor and his fortune...I took the books...all of them. In a way I think I got the fortune..." I smiled then looked up at Dex.

His mouth was set in a frustrated line and jaw clenched.

"I'm sorry, I'm annoying you. I just...I don't know...how to be...cordial. I know what people think of me. I've always known...but the only person who's opinion matters is my father. Though, regrettably, I do listen to Vincent every now and again. Sometimes he's a true friend...but more often well he tells me the things I've always heard. Maybe I am dangerous, Father didn't raise me to be a delicate flower...And I would be dead ten times over if he had," I was being painfully truthful now and I hated it, yet the words poured out,"maybe I'm not amiable, but I wasn't raised to follow blindly. And maybe...maybe I'm not something to be loved, but father loved me, He wrote it all over these journals. So if you believe them, then join them! I have no use for another Vincent. But a second ago you said that you wanted a friend. Is it so ghastly to think that I might want the same? I want to love a friend...someone who will take my side for once. Someone who isn't bound by status."

I watched as his face softened and I forced myself to shut up.

"Then we look for the same thing."

"I thought I'd found it," I said in a haughty voice.

"As did I and I still do."

"In one of the girls you've been surveying," I meant to tease but my voice was too edgy to pull that off.

He smirked,"in the jealous girl sitting in the window."

"Jealous? Who's jealous?"

"Oh, now Camilla you ought to be green." He teased sitting beside me.

"Well that's preposterous. What have I to be jealous about?"

"The other women I surveyed were not as beautiful or enthralling as you."

For some odd reason that brought me satisfaction.

"What care I?" I said despite the smirk playing at the corners of my mouth.

"What care you indeed?"

I stared at his face for a moment. He seemed amused by me, and even a bit in awe. His pupils dilated lips slightly parted.

"I don't care," I insisted with a smirk.

"Well good, you shouldn't. Now if this is your favorite place, what is your second favorite?"

I set the journals on the window seat and looked out of the window.

"Oh good it has not begun to rain yet." I jumped down and walked quickly out of the library."

"It is outside?" Dex asked.

"Yes," I nodded as I made my way through the halls towards the front door.

"Then technically speaking it is not one of your favorite places in the manor, but on the land."

I turned and looked at him with an exasperated sigh,"Do we have to speak on technical terms?"

He smirked in response and allowed me to drag him around back, deep inside the garden where the hedges formed a sort of maze.

"A maze?" He questioned.

I shook my head. I began running, anxious to get to my place. This maze, Vincent put in for my benefit. My father had one just like it; it was almost an exact replica. I remember running this maze with Vincent as a child. He'd always complain I went too fast as I pulled him along. Left right straight ahead over and over until we were deep in and going the wrong way to get out. We were on the path to the middle of the maze. Among the bright spring green and bits of purple and white. The air was heavy with moisture, making the smell of grass, and pollen sweeter. Soon I could smell more water in the air and after a few more rounded corners we met my second favorite place. Nestled within the well groomed hedges was a pond, with big brightly colored fish swimming around.

"Ah it reminds me of childhood," Dex mumbled.

"Oh?" I sat on the grass he took his place beside me.

"Yes, there was a bit of wooded area near my home and I'd run out with my older brother with our toy guns and explore. We catalogued every animal in those woods. We especially loved to go to the lake and capture frogs and salamanders."

I was intrigued by the picture he painted.

"You have a brother?" I asked. I tried to imagine him, his older brother.

"Yes," he smiled fondly," he'll be visiting next week, I would love for you to meet him."

"What's he like?"

"He's more of a friend than I, and more mature. He tends to be a bit intrusive, but quick to make friends. I haven't met a soul who didn't like him," a bit of a frown marred his smile.

"Seems like a bit of a shadow caster." I spoke understanding his expression, I wore it often.

"It's not his intention. He is just a naturally loved person, and the oldest."

I thought of that. Being a second child was almost as hard as being an illegitimate one. You were entitled to no fortune, or home upon your parents' death. You simply had to be quick and know how to make something of yourself.

"Ah," I nodded,"I see."

He frowned in to the water,"Do you? Not an impressive achievement, every second child has this predicament."

"Just because it is a common situation doesn't make it any less difficult."

"Mm, my brother is the better of the two of us. He is generous, charitable, well known, and me well I'm just me."

I smiled and looked to him,"Well you'll always be my favorite." He looked down at me and smirked.

"You might change your mind after you see him," he said sadly.

"Has that happened before?" I could tell from the sadness of his eyes and the grief held in the set of his mouth. That bothered me, he is not allowed to be forlorn.

"Once, when we were younger. I believed in love at first sight then," he laughed and looked away from me," I was just means to get to my brother."

I looked out at the pond without seeing it.

"Did they marry?" I asked knowing the answer.

"Yes. Then after the birth of the twins she grew ill and died."

"Seems, like neither of our first loves turned out all that great," I sighed then looked back at him.

He was biting his lip, I could sense his sadness. I quickly wrapped my arms around him without thinking. My face resting on his chest.

"I can't imagine anyone better than you." I murmured.

"You must not know many good people then," he laughed and put an arm around me.

"You're better than me," I laughed humorlessly.

"Living in this world is hard enough without a disadvantage. We all do things we aren't proud of," he murmured as he rubbed my back.

"I like you, Dex." I admitted looking up.

"You'd be the first," the smile he gave stopped me short, and I almost took his soul. The light sparkle of his mint eyes captivated me, his pale pink rose lips only inches away from mine. I could take him right now. I could do it. I could press my lips to his and push him against the grass. Knowing him, he'd want to regain dominance and I would allow it. I could almost taste the soft sweet mint of his soul. It would be delectable, and cloaking, like opium on the tongue. I could almost hear the sound of him enjoying every bit of my illusion while I drank him up. I wouldn't tear him apart, he is too beautiful for that.

"I think I might be falling in love with you, Ms. Nightshade."

That stopped my slow approaching lips.

"What?" He couldn't love me. It had been, what? Three days? No that couldn't be, not yet! ...Wait everything was going according to plan, this is what I wanted. Why am I suddenly worried? I stared at him lost and helpless, why was this so hard. How many of my prey claimed they loved me? It didn't bother me then, why did this man's proclamation bother me so deeply.

It was because he meant it, and I didn't deserve it. I let go of him and moved away. I should tell him the truth, tell him to go, run away and never look back. That's not what I wanted. I wanted to see this through. I wanted to live happily ever after. Was that so bad?

"You think?" I asked barely above a whisper.

"Well I've only known you a few days I can't be sure. So far I love everything about you. I love how you hold yourself, I love how you deal with your pain, I love the arrogance that possesses you when you are angry, I even love the bit of fear I feel when I'm around you."

Fear...That was his instincts telling him I was not right. I am not what I appear to be.

"You're pretty admirable yourself." I said joking lamely. My smile was forced, maybe even a bit pained.

"I know you aren't as nice as you have lead on. I've also known your reasons for accepting my courting are not all pure."

I looked up dumbfounded. The face was instinctual, I naturally played dumb.

" I don't care. What ever your motivation, as long as I get to have you..."

I stared blankly at him for a while, then laughed. It was a sarcastic sound not at all joyful.

"That's silly and masochistic." I said with blatant disapproval.

"Well what would you have me do?"

I thought about it all and sighed. There was more pain then I realized in the sound. Surely it was because I was on the brink of losing my ticket out of this place.

"All things considered, I'd leave."

"Too late for that. I know how much you want to leave, but something always keeps you here. The only way you will leave is if someone takes you away."

I brushed my hair out of my face and smirked,"All over a bit of lust?"

"Lust? I think it's a bit more than lust. It was, I admit, at first. I've learned a bit too much of you for it to be just that."

"So you'd marry a woman you knew was just using you?"

"Only if I knew that woman needed saving...And might hold some affections for me."

I opened my mouth to deny but I couldn't.

"You can't even deny it." He proclaimed boldly and I frowned.

I thought about him and realized I wasn't lying when I'd said I liked him, or that he'd always be my favorite.

"Plus, I like how angry your affections make Vincent, it is a fun game." He laughed.

"Vincent really hates the idea of me leaving," I laughed without humor.

Dex shook his head as if I was missing something.

"What?"I asked

"Nothing," he was smiling to himself.

"You know, I never expected you to be so intelligent. That's attractive."

We had leaned towards each other during the course of the conversation.

"May I be granted a reward for figuring you out." He looked down at my lips.

"A reward you say?" I asked biting my lip and smiling. A raindrop fell on his cheek. I rubbed it away with my thumb and looked up at the heavy clouds.

"We ought to leave," I announced. I noticed a bit of a pout as I looked down at Dex's face,"Oh come now, do you want to be rained on?"

"Maybe," he said indignantly sounding like a child. The rain quickly picked up and my hair was getting soaked.

"Can we at least leave the maze? It is dangerous to dance by the pond."

He sighed and stood.

"Fine," he smiled and took my hand. I felt his muscles tense,"How about a game?"

I cocked my head, curious.

"Game?"

"Yes, first one out of the maze wins."

"What does the winner get?" I asked intrigued

"If I win I get a kiss."

"And if I win..." I thought on what I wanted,"you tell me a secret. A good one."

"Fine but first, close your eyes."

I did as he asked and he began spinning me.

"Alright, ready set go" he stopped spinning me and I listened to his retreating footsteps. I smirked and followed our scent back to the entrance. He had gone the wrong way completely. I was back at the entrance in no time.

I turned my face to the sky and let the water caress it. Dex is a silly man. He would let a woman like myself use him. I shouldn't feel so guilty. What did it matter to me? If he let me do it, he deserved it. Stupid man and what did he think would come from expressing his "love"? He didn't know me, or what I've done. Would he still love me if he knew all the people I'd killed? I mean it's a nice idea ...to be loved. Even now I could see it. His arms around me, his lips on mine, only if he really loved me. Hell it didn't have to be Dex. If any man could truly love me at all he'd have earned my affection. We could take walks all night until morning.

I looked out on the garden as it rained and sighed.

That's improbable. No one could ever love a succubus. The man I had just dreamt up does no exist. The best I could hope for is a blind man. A man with no idea, what I am, what I've done. I hung my head stupid tears filling my eyes. I am going to pull this man in to the shadows with me. He was such a good man. He had only been kind to me, and here I am damning him. Just like the heartless devil I am. My shoulders hunched inward with shame.

"Wow, you know that maze well..." Dex laughed as he got out of the maze.

I could not lift my head to look at him.

"Camilla, are you alright?"

God I am ashamed, even now, knowing I am dragging him to hell I'm not going to stop. Heartless, heartless, she-devil.

His arm wound around the small of his back as he pulled me to him. He put a finger under my chin and made me look at him. Then his lips went to my ear.

"You won, so you get a secret. I know what happened to your first husband."

I stiffened. I have to kill him now. If he knows the truth he has to die.

"I don't blame you in the slightest. Sometimes in the pursuit of happiness we have to do terrible things."

I felt the warm tears roll down my face, along with cold rain.

"We can't all be saints," he smirked.

In an impulse I threw my arms around his neck so I could pull him down and kiss him. This is painfully cliche, kissing in the rain! It was wonderful all the same. His hands seized the small of my back, pulling me closer. The taste of his lips is all I can think of. They were sweet, like candy, pure, untouched. His lips were also smooth and soft. Unlike his hard body, they were yielding and tender. He broke the kiss, which vaguely surprised me.

"I'm drowning," he laughed pushing his wet hair back. I laughed and pushed my hair back too. Thunder clapped causing both of us to jump. We looked at one another then began running back to the manor.

We entered the foyer all but dying with laughter.

"Aye yer both drenched," Melia called, an amused smile on her face.

"Yes," I agreed, then turned to look at Dex, sizing him up," tanaka?" I called, knowing the old man would hear me.

"What is it Cam..." his voice trailed off as he saw us. He sighed.

"I'm getting much too old for the antics of the young. Come with me Lord Reed," he said walking down the hall.

I smiled,"Thank you!" I called after him.

I looked back to Melia how had been joined by Isabelle. They both smiled creepily at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You like him!" Isabelle squealed.

I didn't gratify her with an answer. Instead I turned and began climbing the stairs to my room. As I passed Vincent's room thunder clapped and I heard his soft gasp.

I stopped by his door and battle with myself as to whether or not I should go in. Lightening flashed out side and I heard his groan. I smiled to myself, after all these years still afraid of a bit of thunder and lightening. I pushed opened the door slowly and saw a sight that melted my heart.


	8. Thunder

When we were young and storms would come my father would wrap Vincent in a blanket and tell him to close his eyes. Father then would tell a story of giants or Greek mythology, maybe sing a song or two. I walked in to see him in a quilt I made, when I was about thirteen, for him with his eyes closed. His shoulders were hunched inwards and a few beads of sweat on his brow as he sat on his bed. I hurried to my room and changed before I headed back to Vincent

"Once upon a time," I began while crossing the room. He gasped and opened his eyes, red embarrassment quickly painting his cheeks, "there was a boy."

I sat on the bed beside him and wrapped my arms around him.

"The boy was adventurous and lighthearted. A good boy, but thoughtless," I smiled thinking of the story I wanted to tell," his mother sent him out on an errand one day. She asked him to gather fire wood, and do so quickly because rain was coming. The boy nodded eagerly. He was receiving the chance for adventure and he think of nothing more fun, so he-"

"Millie!" I heard ciel cry as thunder clapped louder and closer than before. I sighed, like father like son. I hurried out and went to Ciel's room.

It was empty. My heart broke in to a sprint. Where is he?

I heard him whimpering as lightening struck. He was under his bed. I fell gracefully to the floor, the soft linen and silk dress I wore fanning out around me.

"Come on, love, Millie is here," I murmured looking under the bed. He hastily crawled out and into my arms. His sobs shook through his body and as the merciless storm bellowed again a great shriek left the small child.

"Sh," I hushed as I held him close and stood. I pulled the cover off of his bed and walked the hall back to Vincent. Once I entered the room I set ciel on Vincent's lap, and wrapped his blanket around him, then held them both.

"Now where was I?," I continued my story," ah yes. The boy set out ,after a rushed farewell to his mother, into the woods. He wandered about, chasing the elk and watching the birds play in the trees above him. He all but forgot about the fire wood. Soon the rain started and he remembered his cause, but all of the wood was soaked now, what would he do?" I looked to Ciel who had turned to look at me with big curious eyes,"he sat on a wet log and held his head in his hands. 'What am I going to do?' He asked out loud to no one in particular.

'Maybe I can help,' a small voice called.

The boy looked up startled, he did not remember seeing anyone about in the woods.

'Who is there?' He spoke.

'It is I," a little fairy girl called. She was beautiful as she sat beside him on the log

'You can help me?' He asked hopefully.

'What do you need?' The little fairy asked.

'Fire wood,' He answered.

'It is done,' she spoke and left.

The boy went home and found fire wood on his doorstep, sheltered from the rain. The next day the boy was awakened by a tapping on his shudders and a scream of what sounded like a little person's 'help' He opened the shudders and saw the little fairy from the day before.

'Are you alright?'

She shook her head little sparkling tears falling from her face.

'Well what is the matter?' He asked picking her up.

'My wing, it's broken,' she cried showing her crumpled wing.

The boy closed his shudders and brought the little fairy to his working table. He worked for hours to fix the wounded fairy," thunder roared out side but neither of them took heed to it, both sets of wide blue eyes were trained on me," finally she was fixed and the fairy flew with delight. From then on the Fairy and the boy were great friends. However the fairy was no ordinary fairy, she was a princess and on the day of her sixteenth birthday her father urged her to marry. The fairy could only think of one person she wanted to marry and that was the boy. Of course the boy was barely a boy anymore, he was just on the edge of being a man. So the fairy went to see the boy and told him of her problem.

'I'd be happy to marry you, you've helped me a lot all of these years. I would be honored.'

She all but burst with joy. She hurried to her home and told her father. He nodded glad she was happy and stated,

'If the law will have it than it shall be,'

But there was a jealous fairy man who did not want the little fairy princess to be wed to the boy. So he forged new rules, in the book of fairy law, saying that she could not marry him, because she was a fairy and he was a boy. The fairy king read this and was filled with grief.

'I'm afraid it cannot be he is human and you are a fairy.'

'What if?' The princess asked, 'what if he were to become a fairy?'

The king' s face brightened, 'Yes it could work. Sprinkle this upon the boy you love then he shall be one of us, and your groom.' The kings gave here magic fairy dust.

The princess hurried to the young man's house. She spoke to the boy, nervous that he might reject her.

'To marry me you must be a fairy, this will make you a fairy,' she presented him with the dust, 'but there is no going back.'

The boy nodded and sprinkled the dust upon himself. He became a handsome fairy man and the princess' groom.

The jealous fairy man was not happy about this. So when the fairy princess was alone he stole her away and locked her up," I had stopped looking at the boys and stared out the window as I spoke, I heard their soft snores and looked down; they were sleeping," the jealous fairy was cruel to her and the princess soon found a way to escape. Only to be captured again by a forest witch. The princess became corrupt and evil, in the clutches of the witch. The fairy turned boy looked relentlessly for his bride until he found her in a small cage. When she saw him she forgot all of her hatred and remembered her love. The fairy groom freed her and they lived happily ever after."

I lie the boys against the pillows at the top of the bed, closed the curtains then left. I walked down the hall a bit, to find Dex leaning against the wall.

"That was a nice story."

"Not my best work," I admitted with a laugh. I began walking towards the library. Dex followed me.

"It was soothing," he smiled.

I scoffed.

"How are you going to leave them, if they still depend upon you so heavily?"

"Give it a month or two, I'll have to ween them. Ciel is a rather independent child and he has both of his parents. And even once I leave, I can still visit," I said defensively.

"I suppose. " He was quiet with deliberation. I walked forward faster. I could not just abandon them. Quit them cold turkey. Yes, Vincent is jaded now, but he wasn't always that way. How can I blame him for making me his safe haven. And Ciel...Well I'm practically the child's mother. How would he get along if I just disappeared?

"You'll stay here," Dex laughed.

"I won't!" I all but yelled back.

"Ah but you love them."

"I...I understand that their dependence on me is my fault," I murmured.

"When do you get to live a life of your own? When do you get someone to depend on?"

"After I've weened them. Get them used to life without me." I explained.

"And Ciel," his voice was cold and it caught me by surprise.

"Dex, this is a bit of your character you've hidden away," I turned to look at him. I'd stopped walking.

"Temper," he explained. I felt my chest tighten and my breath come quick. I was tensed for a fight,"I can't stand the way he treats you."

Dex hugged me and I felt myself calm. He was only angry at wrong doings, not me. Dex didn't seem capable of raising his hand to me. I could sense his emotions as they rolled off of him in waves, no his soul was too sweet to do such a thing. Dex may be a little bratty at most, but aren't all nobles that way? Once he let me go I looked him in his eyes.

"I will leave, I can't bear staying where I am toyed with and hated."

"I understand. I am being unreasonable." His mouth pulled down a bit.

I stared at him for a moment then comprehended his sudden anger.

"You're jealous!" I said incredulously.

"And if I am?"

"I might be so bold as to call you adorable," I laughed.

It was still prudent to keep things teasing, whether or not he knew of my plan was irrelevant. I had to make him think I am falling for him, that he is more than just a piece of my game. No one likes to think they're being used, I know that from experience. I frowned internally at the thought of my predicament now. At least he wouldn't feel used, I'd be the perfect wife or I'd kill him. He wouldn't suffer unhappiness.

I took his hand again and headed for the library. Once there I took up my father's journals and sat in front of the fire place. Dex served as my back rest while we sat and I read aloud.

"October 31st

Our daughter was born today, she is beautiful. I am delighted to say she took more after her mother than I. Rosemary named her Camilla. Camilla Annabelle Nightshade. She's a little baby, but the nurse says she's perfectly healthy. I love her. She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, excluding Rose."I smiled softly, then frowned as I looked at the next entry. I hastily skipped through.

"Hey whoa, why-"

"It's when my mother left," I said.

I suppose my tone kept him from asking further questions. I read stories of my father's thoughts of me. After two journals I found myself nodding off to sleep. I closed the book and rested more firmly on Dex.

"You tell me a story about your family," I yawned.

"Well, my family isn't nearly as interesting as your father, and the workings of his mind."

"I've never heard much about a whole family, excluding Vincent."

"Well, my father is a man with high expectations, I've always strived to exceed them...of course just because you strive to do something doesn't mean you do it. My brother, however was good at doing so. But I had my edge, I could make the man smile. He was indulgent with my antics. Like when I was seven and I got myself caught in the old oak," he laughed at the memory and I smiled,"Father was angry at first, you see he told me not to climb the tree. He shouted up to me 'Lad! Did I not tell you to stay away from that bloody tree! You'll break something,'" his voice deepened as he imitated his father. He even wagged a condescending finger in the air,"I called back 'but father you said to exceed your expectation! You expected me not to go near the tree so I did one better and climbed it!'" I laughed at the logic," oh his face was red and I thought for sure I was in for a flogging then he doubled over and shook with laughter. He laughed and laughed then walked away...I guess it was my form of punishment. John eventually helped me down."

"John?" I asked.

"My brother," he explained.

I cuddled closer to him , he wrapped his arms around me resting his chin on top of my head.

"What is your mother like?" I asked with my eyes closed.

"Ah, mother," he laughed ruefully.

"What?" I asked opening one eye and looking up at him.

"You remind me a lot of her."

I closed my eye and settled back against him,"Then she must be every man's dream woman," I laughed at my subtle inside joke.

"Oh but she was, many men envied my father. Mrs. Eliza Reed was quite the woman, hell she still is. With one look she could dishevel a man entirely. She is smart, well spoken, and oh so kind...when she wants to be. She swears she doesn't have a favorite but I know I am it. John has father, and I have mother, it seems fair. Mother is a woman capable of great love, and overwhelming hate if provoked. Once one of my mother's friends was over playing cards and I was in the habit of day dreaming. I must have been staring at her while I dreamt because she hit me so hard I lost sight for a bit. Oh and did I cry."

"How old were you?" I laughed.

"Nearly 8," he laughed,"I never seen mother so angry. She gave that woman a fine escort out of her house and after a few months the poor woman fled the country."

I laughed harder, "A bit harsh, no?"

"Imagine if someone struck Ciel."

I thought about it and felt a slight twinge of rage. Surely I would see them dead.

"I see your point," I nodded.

Dex laughed,"My brother never seized to irritate my mother. I suppose it was because he was so reluctant to learn as opposed to me. I couldn't get enough of books and puzzles, not to mention music! Oh mother taught me to play and sing," he laughed," Oh she has the voice only rivaled by the angels...or so I thought until I heard you sing."

I smiled at the flattery,"See I'm not the first to consider you my favorite," I announced.

"It's not the same, she's my mother she has to love me."

"No she doesn't," I grumbled thinking of my own mother. She didn't care for me. She only cared for power, and her throne.

"I suppose you are right," he amended, " your mother, have you seen her since she left?"

"Unfortunately." I grumbled, thinking of her offer.

"I take it you all don't get along."

"My mother is the queen of those who make the dreams of men come true for one night. She only comes to tell me that she wants me to be the heir to her throne," I answered, telling the half truth.

"That's terrible."

"She's terrible, not at all a woman you'd want to know."

We were quiet. Dex seemed at large as to what to say.

"Tell me more about John," I demanded.

"Well, I am proud to say I am better than him at my studies...I'm still working on sports. He's the brawn, I'm the brains I suppose."

"That's attractive," I murmured, but as I leant against him I couldn't fathom how he could be bested in brawn. No, his muscles were not bulky or scary they were more subtle, and graceful. He would look like a carefully painted picture under his clothes. His muscles consisting of delicate and beautiful lines and curves. His body would be baroque and exquisite. I was suddenly very aware of his soul, greed pulled at me for a moment but I beat it back.

"Most women don't tend to think so around here. I suppose a man with his nose in a book all day is hardly any fun."

"That sounds like fun to me," I said truthfully.

He laughed, "You are not most women now are you?"

I smiled,"No," if only he knew just how unlike other women I am.

"Even though I knew John was better than me at hunting, cricket... And well just about every other sport I tried and I never stepped down from a challenge. I also challenged him in the strength of the mind, often playing mind games, or intricate pranks. There's still a prank war going on between the two of us," he laughed, "let us hope you don't get caught in the cross fires." He spoke more but sleep suddenly took me under.

I woke briefly as Dex lie me in bed. He kissed my forehead then left. Maybe thirty minutes later did Vincent come in and wake me.

"The meeting is about to start," he shook me awake. I groaned and my head turned to the window, rain smacked upon it furiously.

"Give me a moment," I sighed. I went to my vanity and brushed my hair. The dress I wore would suffice for the meeting. The gold silk and cream linen was thick and pretty enough to be an evening dress.

"Ah I do like the look of gold on your skin." Vincent complimented.

I realized, while I put my hair up in ribbon, that Vincent had gifted me this dress. I stared at myself in the mirror for a long while, studying the line of my straight nose, the curve of my lips, and my doe eyes that shone in the dim light of the room. They were only faintly purple, I wouldn't have to hunt until next week. I put my hand to the gold necklace around my neck that held the key to the mausoleum. The skeleton key was wedged between my breast. The top of the key could just be seen in the low neckline of the dress.

I stood and Vincent lead the way to the meeting. I always despised these meetings just as much as I liked them. Meetings were the only time I was guaranteed time with Vincent. I also got to see Undertaker, which was a rare treat; I never had time to stop by the funeral parlor to see the man. Vincent opened the door to the recreation room and held it for me

"Oh he went to get his little pet," one of the men mumbled. I turned to look at him. He was a gruff man, with a face that could make a child cry. He just looked mean.

"Bernard, Camilla means more to me than everyone in this room combined, she is also capable of killing you in several different ways. She deserves respect."

Bernard scowled and turned to the man standing next to him to grumble profanities. I looked up at Vincent to see he was also looking at Bernard. I could tell that the man's name would soon be on my menu.

"Annabelle," a familiar gravelly voice called.

"Undertaker, why must you call me by my middle name?" I sighed as I turned towards him.

"It is beautiful, and no one else calls you by it," he chuckled.

Undertaker was leaning against the pool table wearing his black robe, and hat, with his hair, as always, covering his eyes. I took my usual place beside him and sat on the pool table.

"So I hear you've encouraged the affections of Lord Reed."

"Did Vincent tell you?" I asked.

"No, I found out on my own."

"Undertaker, are you tracking my relationships?" I said with staged outrage.

"Your father did tell me to keep an eye on you," in that moment he swept his hair from his face and his eyes bored in to me,"your family has become rather fond of you, no, dearie?"

"Yes, regrettably so," I looked away from his glare. I could still feel it, and its suspicion.

"You're taken the boy to hell, yes," he chuckled.

"I'm not making him attracted to me."

"How can he not be?"

"Well, I can't help my affections either. Dex is an admirable man. I'm thinking a winter wedding," I laughed. Undertaker knew what I was doing. He glanced in Vincent's direction for a moment. I didn't have to look to know what his face looked like. He was irritated, I could feel it roll off of him.

"I'm glad it brings ye happiness," Undertaker chuckled.

"Ah Undertaker I missed you. You should have made me your bride before Dex came along."

He scoffed,"I am old enough to have started your blood line."

"Oh Come on you're timeless, that goes for anyone now."

"Would you really like to be m' bride?" He asked looking at me with those bright green eyes.

"What better company to vice than death?"I asked leaning closer to him.

We shared a moment of slowly getting closer. I had turned my head slightly as if to kiss. He put his hand on the back of my neck, his nails causing me to shiver. I put one hand on his face the other on his shoulder. We moved closer; I closed my eyes when our lips were a mere centimeter apart. His nose barely touched the side of mine. I brought my body closer to his. One of his hands moved to rest on the small of my back. I could feel his cool touch through the fabric of my dress. I grabbed a handful of his hair. We stayed like that for an immeasurable moment. Anxiety filled my chest, then I felt him turn his head. He shook with laughter and I calmed. I let him go and laughed myself.

"For a moment I thought I was going to lose!" I laughed.

We had a game of making the other nervous. Whom ever moved away first lost. I have never lost.

"You're good," he laughed.

"I have to be."

"If you two are done, we have things to discuss," Vincent hissed at us.

I clamped my lips shut holding in laughs. As did Undertaker covered his mouth, trying to hold it in.

"Murders in London have become especially horrid, as we all know. They've been centered around trading sessions with other countries," he said looking to Bernard,"and opium dens," he turned to Lau,"there is some cleaning up to be done," he looked pointedly at me. I smiled; this meant a bountiful feast for me. Undertaker chuckled and my smile widened, knowingly. Clean up meant more work for him. The man beside me shifted uncomfortably. Undertaker and I are the clean up crew, that fact is well known. Lau wouldn't be on me list but Bernard would be, I can tell that much from Vincent.

"The murders, are grotesque, and pain her majesty. Therefore they must end." His eyes fell on Bernard again.

"My Lord, you've told me little of these murders," I began.

"I will tell you after," he interrupted.

I nodded.

"You are all in London regularly, save Camilla, be watchful."

I understood that this was all of the information I needed, the rest would pertain to the others. I stopped paying attention to Vincent. Undertaker didn't seem to be paying attention either when I looked over at him. He was inspecting his long black nails. I learned that he painted them that way. That surprised me, I'd always assumed they just grow in that way. I mean it's Undertaker anything is possible. Vincent droned on and on about murders, giving subtle threats. I leaned my head on Undertaker's shoulder and brought my legs up on to the pool table. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep again.

I had finally dozed off when thunder out side startled me awake. It seems there was a second storm rolling in. Vincent stopped midsentence and looked towards the window.

"My Lord, you were saying?" Lau said in a mocking voice. If I didn't know Lau I'd say he knew Vincent had a fear of thunder, but I do know Lau so I know he is just as oblivious as everyone else, except perhaps Undertaker. I slid off the table and went to Vincent, sitting on the floor beside his legs. I rested my head against his knee and tried going to sleep again.

"I understand the weather is not suitable for travel, Tanaka, Amelia and Isabelle will show you to your rooms." I woke when he said this.. I stood rubbing my eyes. The room quickly emptied and I turned to go.

"Wait, Millie"he called.

"Yes, Vincey," I mumbled as I turned to look at him. He smiled softly at his childhood name.

"I don't mean this to sound jaded but will you come to my room with me until I fall asleep?"

"I don't know..."

"Please, I won't sleep at all otherwise." He plead softly.

I bit my lip. Thunder roared and he took an involuntary step towards me.

"I'll sing a lullaby. That's it," I said.

"That's all I need."

I walked to his room and waited out side the door while he got dressed for bed. He called to me when he was done.

"Vincent you're such a child," I complained.

"Am not," he said back.

"Are to," I insisted flopping down on the chair at his bedside.

I sung a wordless melody that forced him to sleep. While I sung I kept my eyes closed, letting the tune pull me closer to unconsciousness.

Once Vincent had fallen asleep, I got up and dragged myself to my room. All of this deception is rather tiresome. I miss the days when I didn't have to pretend.

I entered my room and took off the nice dress and hung it back up. I dressed in a nice cotton night gown.

"Well, don't you look like a fair maiden dressed in white," my mother's voice came from by my vanity.

"Hello, mother," I sighed and sat on the rocking chair.

"You look tired sweetie, hard day?"

"I suppose."

"Oh, I know deceiving men is tiring work. I remember how tired your father made me."

I frowned at her mentioning him.

"You should have told me you wanted a mate."

"Mother, I don't want you arranging anything. I want to find a mate on my own."

"Seems to me like you have. You've entertained the affections of a Lord Dexter Reed. He comes from a good family, yes, but is he a good man? Not entirely," she smiled. Tonight she wore a slim, silk, purple dress.

"We all do things we aren't proud of."

"I suppose you're right, let's be glad he's an honest man now or Vincent might throw him to you as a treat."

I closed my eyes preparing for a villainous monologue.

"I think I'll pay him a visit," she said in a cheery voice.

My eyes snapped open, but she was already gone. I breezed to Dex's room, to see my mother leaning over him.

"Oh his face is just darling," she gushed,"Camilla he's better looking than Leo, or even Vincent."

She had a petty crush on Vincent, it was all I could do to keep her away from him. Yet another reason to stay.

"Wow he smells ama-," she began, I was suddenly in front of her growls slipping through my locked jaw.

"Alright, alright he's your prey." Her eyes were wide as she looked down at me.

"He is not my prey," I said relaxing a bit. My reaction surprised me...I'm usually more in control around mother.

"Well I have to meet him." Her bright purple gaze worried me and I moved closer to Dex.

"You just did. Mom, Dex. Dex, Mom," I gestured to the smiling woman and sleeping man.

"I mean talk to him. See if he's fit for my princess." She looked over my shoulder at Dex.

"No." My voice was cold steel. She can't be trusted, she'd out me, or say too much, and send the man away.

"Now, you didn't let me meet the last man and he scarred your pretty skin," She touched my face,"I would have sensed the malice in his soul, you could have been spared the pain."

I looked in her eyes and saw that she'd speak to him one way or another. I preferred they speak in my presence.

"Fine, I'll tell you when."

"Oh goodie!" She giggled loudly. I looked down to Dex to be sure she hadn't waken him. He was still fast asleep. His pink rose lips slightly parted, his hands under his face like a small child.

"I'll leave you now," her lips brushed my cheek. When I turned she was gone. I didn't like the way she had observed him. I bit my lip listening to things outside. Mother seemed to be long gone, but she could come back at any time. My room is too far away for me to notice her presence before it's too late. If she eats him...Then my plans would be halted. Staying wouldn't be too weird, right? If he woke to me looming over him he would be surprised and not in a good way. Hell if I woke to someone standing at my bedside staring I'd be highly disturbed. So maybe I'd get in bed. That was a precarious idea. With all of the people in the manor, a rumor could get started. Of course, I doubt any of them would wake as early as I would. Undertaker might but I don't fear him seeing me. Dex might not even notice that I had been here and if he did I could say I had a nightmare.

I went around the large bed and lie on the vast empty region. I lie on top of the cover in an attempt to retain some decency. Ironic, the succubus is trying to retain decency and modesty. My eyelids were sand bags and closed easily


	9. Candy

I awoke at the crack of dawn and pulled off the heavy covers. I looked around for a moment then saw Dex's mint eyes gazing at me amused.

"Might I ask what you are doing in bed with me, Ms. Nightshade?" His voice was condescending and drenched with disapproval, but the smile playing at the corners of his mouth proved otherwise.

"I...had a nightmare...And," I stammered giving a bashful smile.

"Is that so?"He asked.

I nodded.

"Alright. Will you go now?" He asked giving in to the smile that had been slowly pulling up the corners of his mouth.

"Oh alright," I answered in a hurt voice. I slid down from the bed.

"Goodness, Camilla, you are such a predator! Sneaking in here taking advantage of my slumber! I feel violated," he said dramatically.

I laughed and left the room.

"My, my, Annabelle," Undertaker said.

"You know, I thought you'd gone back to your home."

"And miss such a scandalous act of indecency?"

"It wasn't like that."

"Oh I know. It's just easier to pretend your mother wasn't her, as opposed to worrying about you."

I frowned,"Undertaker don't worry yourself about me."

"How can I not worry about you?"

"You can try minding your own business, old man," I teased.

"You are my business," Undertaker took a piece of my hair and twirled it between his fingers.

I scoffed and flipped my hair, "For a man who won't marry me you're awfully interested in just about everything I do," I teased walking towards my room.

"I never said I wouldn't," he laughed.

"Ah, well it is too late. Plus mother wouldn't approve of my wedding a necrophillic coroner."

"Does mother approve of Dex?"

"Undoubtedly, as she should. He's handsome, strong, able minded, and most of all," I turned to look at undertaker,"young."

I then entered my room and closed the door before he could enter too.

"I thought I was timeless," I heard him say with a cackle.

I changed in to first an old button up of my father's then a very beautiful lilac dress that father bought for me when I was sixteen. It was made for spring weather, and to show of a nice pair of shoes. I suppose the thing really isn't a dress, it's more of a slim skirt with pretty ruffles starting at the knee to just above my ankles. At the top was an underbust corset with straps that I put my arm in. I made sure my shirt was tucked in without any problems, then put on pantyhose and pretty soft purple and white shoes. After a look in the mirror I realized I didn't want to leave hair down. I put it up in two ponytails, then hurried down to the kitchen to help Melia prepare the unusually large breakfast for this morning.

"Good mornin' lass," Melia called as I came in to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Melia. What can I do?" I asked while I tied on an apron.

"Aye, I need ya to skin the salmon 'n make a vinaigrette."

"Aye aye captain," I said then got to work.

I'm sure the storm has passed, which means the other nobles will be leaving today.

"So, 'ow yer day go with Dex?" She asked.

"Swimmingly."

"I bet, with you sneakin' into the lads bedroom and such."

"Cami did what?" Isabelle entered, barefoot holding a bowl of thyme. I suppose her shoes were muddy so she left them outside.

"I saw her sneakin in his room las' nigh', I did."

"Ooo Cami," Isabelle sung.

"It is not as it seems," I said with a smirk. The two ladies are ridiculous,"you both know I am not that kind of woman."

Isabelle sighed,"I would call you a prude if I didn't know better."

Isabelle knows all too well that I am the opposite of that. I rolled my eyes,"Isabelle please be decent."

"Decent? I'm not the one sneaking into men's bedrooms and so what? I mean what does it really matter, it's not like you have any purity to be lost"

"Isabelle," I complained, "I haven't even known him a week."

"She's right, pure o' no she can't be givin' 'im anythin' jus' yet."

"Thank you, Melia" I said looking away from my work.

"Ve, I guess you have a point. What's to keep him from leaving you afterward?" She sighed sadly.

I went to her and kissed her forehead. She looked at me and smiled.

"What are you girls prattling on about,"Tanaka said in an irritated voice.

"Noth-"

"Camilla slept with Lord Reed," Isabelle and Melia blurted. I sighed.

"I hope she didn't give anything away so early in the game. If she did, I might call the lady on the shallow end."

"Shallow end?" Isabelle asked.

"Yes, in the pool of wisdom and knowledge." He said as he collected plates.

"Tanaka,"I complained.

He wore a smirk his eyes closed,"I trust the lady isn't that foolish though," he glanced down at me as he left the kitchen, winking quickly at me, "make him work for it," he said with a laugh

"Mr. Tanaka!" I hit him with a towel before he left out,"I am a lady," I amended laughing slightly.

"Sure," Isabelle laughed and went back out to the garden.

"I believe ya 'n I trust ya aren't that stupid, lass. If I didn' I'd 've dragged you out of the room."

"Well thank you."

"No need. I think of ya like a daugh'er." She answered sadly.

Melia had suffered several miscarriages before her husband died while he and her were here on business. She had no way to get back to Scotland and she had no family to go back to. That's when father found her, she used to work for my father, and after he died she moved here with me. Then she grew sick, and the doctors had to remove her uterus.

"I think I'll name my first born girl after you, Melia." I said smiling.

"Nothin' 'd make me happier, Millie."

Breakfast was quickly and easily prepared. I went back to my room and grabbed my stash of candy. I honestly don't want to be around when the nobles wake up. They were all exhausting and spoiled. I hurried to the library and retrieved father's journals from their place on the window seat. Dex would come looking for me soon enough, but I think Undertaker wants to talk to him, without me. The action fits his personality. I hid in the furthest recesses of the library and read through the journal, starting from the day mother left.

"November 1st

Rosemary is gone...just gone. Perhaps she'll come back, and be with her child and myself. But she left this morning, and its night now. I called for a wet nurse, so Camilla would not go hungry. I don't know if I can go on without her.

November 3rd

I saw her. I could have sworn upon it, but when I called her name she didn't acknowledge it. Maybe she didn't hear...but she always had acute hearing, it was because of what she was."

I couldn't bear reading it anymore. Mother was cruel. However, father should have known better. How could he be so blind as to trust her, to think that she wouldn't leave one day. He was also cruel. What if she had loved him? Mother is immortal, to have her love him, a temporary being, was inexcusable. I suppose mother is lucky to be spared a heart.

Everyone would leave me, Isabelle, Melia, Tanaka, ... Ciel and... Vincent. If I leave before they die, I will have already mourned their loss, so when the inevitable end came it wouldn't hurt too bad, but if I stayed; I could cherish the fleeting moments with them so that when they die I can assure myself that they knew I loved them. Which one is the better choice?

"I thought I would find you here," Dex said and pulled my hair. I forced a smile on to my face. I wish he had stayed in bed, I do not like to be interrupted mid thought. Now I will never finish it...it has already left my mind.

"You're up early," my voice was rather accusatory,"...for a noble," I said softening my voice to a teasing tone.

"It is around this time that I go running, but I guess one day of neglecting that routine won't kill me."

I forced a soft laugh. Mother was right, deception is tiring. Surely I can't keep this up, I'll have to kill the man. I'm usually so patient with mortals, maybe it's because there is a surplus of men in the manor. It is usually very easy to resist feeding but with the smell of men, and they're hearts beating softly as the sleep, it's maddeningly tempting. Thinking about it brought the gluttonous hunger to the fore front of my mind. It was all I could do not to tear the man in front of me apart. The gluttony of my kind is a burden. I am not hungry. Had there been the usual amount of males in the manor, I wouldn't even notice the little greedy bastard in the back of my head.

"Camilla you don't look well," he said sitting beside me.

Pondering my hunger was very imprudent of me. The perfume of his skin surrounded me quickly making resistance even harder.

"I didn't sleep well," I said barely above a whisper.

"Oh yes, the nightmare," he pursed his lips, those delicious, delicate lips. They turned up a bit forming a soft smile. Their gentle curves weaving a tune of chaos and havoc on my self-control,"Would you like to talk about it?" His breath, like honey suckle, brushed over my face. I tore my gaze from him and looked down at the books.

Father would be disappointed. If I can not control myself, I can not be trusted. If I can not be trusted, I am not a suitable human. If I am not human, all that is left is the beast and if the beast is left...there is no telling what I might do. Only a few seconds had passed I turned back and smiled bashfully. I stared past him, not in his eyes. I could not afford for those cool green eyes to trap me.

"I dreamt I met your family," I lied.

"Oh?" He said surprised," and?"

"They all hated me," I looked down pouting a bit and seeming upset.

"It was just a dream, my family wouldn't hate you," he assured with another smile. I trained my gaze on the wall behind him.

"I can't help but to worry."

He looked away from me turning his head a bit as if he were deliberating something.

"Camilla, my brother will be in town next week. As a rule we always have dinner together on the day he comes back. Would you perhaps, go to the dinner. You could meet all of my family at once and get it out of the way."

I smiled widely and nodded,"Alright that sounds splendid," I let my smile falter,"but what if they don't like me?" I questioned.

"They'll love you, just as I do," he kissed my forehead. I cut off my breathing and plastered a bashful smile on my face.

"You are sweet," I giggled once he moved away again.

He sighed,"You know this is the second time you've avoided saying you love me."

"Dex, I...You are not the first man to pledge love. I don't want to lie to you because right now I don't know how I feel. I do know I like you. I like you very much Dex."

"You are a wise woman, I might be put off if you agreed so soon. Four days is hardly enough to be in love, but I suppose you can, however love a person in that time."

"I hope you won't hold it against me."

"Of course not," he smirked,"oh my!" He exclaimed.

I looked up at him, confused,"What?"

"How much candy have you eaten?"

I looked at the bag and narrowed my eyes; Isabelle must have found my candy stash.

"Not nearly enough for this much to be gone." I said scornfully.

He laughed, "I don't understand how one person could even begin to conquer that much candy."

"Well, I like sweet things. Candy is always sweet."

"Yes."

Unlike me candy is always sweet. Always pleasant to the tongue, all the while rotting the teeth. Lucky for me, my teeth are immortal. So maybe the more sweets I eat, the more of their power I'll absorb. Then, I too could be sweet. Sweet like the souls parading around this place, like the true humans in this manor. There are only four.

"So how will this all go down?"I asked averting the turn my mind was taking.

"Hmm, I will come for you on Monday. My family will come later on and I suppose you'll stay for the duration of their visit."

"How long is that, usually?"

"The week, then my brother goes back to the other side of England."

I nodded. If this went well then a proposal is almost guaranteed.

"I will tell Vincent for you," Dex said with a mischevious smile. The expression confused me, but I didn't particularly want to tell Vincent myself so I didn't question it. Vincent has a way of swaying my resolves.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"I suppose I'll tell him then be on my way."

"Aw so soon?" I whined.

He smiled, pleased that I disliked the idea of him leaving,"Yes I have business to attend to this evening."

"Will alright," I stood as he did. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled him down, and stood on my tippy toes. He closed the distance between us and pressed his soft lips to mine. I let my fingers play in his hair and I pressed my body firmly against his. He held my face just at my jaw line, rubbing his thumb across my cheek bone.

"Bye, for now," I whispered as our lips parted, foreheads still touching. His eyes dilated and his pulse went crazy. I kissed his lips softly once more then let him go.

He left the library as if he were in a daze, running in to more than one table. I laughed to myself, men are very easy to manipulate.

I put back the journals and grabbed a book of lore. I was soon dreadfully aware of all the beating hearts in the manor. It is better that I stay in here.

After a bit, I sensed the people leaving. My body relaxed and I continued reading of the carnage of other predators. The description of mutilated bodies and sacrifices calmed my ever going mind. Honestly, some of these stories are pure genius. The wendingo taking hunters and dragging them off in to lair to feed on them slowly. Or so called genies that grant its victim's innermost desire by playing illusions in their mind while it bleeds them dry.

I heard rushed footsteps coming towards the library. I sighed, knowing exactly how it is.

"Camilla!" Vincent called.

I can sense his anger, which is most tiring,"Yes, my Lord," I called back.

He came from an aisle of books and walked until he was right in front of me. I can feel his stare as it bored into the side of my face.

"Can I help you, master?" I said in a sweet voice.

"How far are you going with this?"

"I apologize but what do you mean, master?"I said innocently.

"Oh stop it. You know what I mean," he said in a calm yet furious voice.

"If you say so," I played dumb. Of course I know exactly what he's speaking of.

"This dinner with Lord Reed and his family."

"I want to know the people Vince," I said feigning a pleading tone.

"This is how you are getting back at me?" He asked bending so his face was inches from the side of my face. I kept my eyes on the book.

"Everything isn't about you all of the time. Sorry to disappoint."

"Camilla, what are you doing?" He hissed at me.

"I am reading." I answered.

"You know what I mean."

"Finding someone who will love me, not use me as you have, Vince."

"Millie don't do this."

"Do I not deserve love?" I asked.

"Millie, you'll ruin him. What you are..."

"Am I a plague now Vincent?" I asked slamming the book shut and looking up at him.

"Millie...come now don't draw conclusions. You are unique and need special care, how will he deal with that."

"He won't have to," I said.

"So you do not plan on telling him?"

"I'm not saying that, but I won't burden him with my problems."

"He's not right for you," Vincent said dismissively.

"Then who is?" I asked with a laugh.

He was silent.

"Vincent I've said it once I'll say it again, I am not going to wait around for someone who is long gone."

"What do I tell Ciel if you leave?"

"Tell him I'll visit as often as you let me."

He glared again crossing his arms,"What about us?"

"What do you mean us?" I said with a laugh,"There is no us. We haven't been 'us' since we were kids. No it's noble and servant."

"Must you victimize yourself," Vince sighed putting a hand on his face.

"I'm tired of being at the end of your priorities while you're at the top of mine. I want someone to love me and take care me. I deserve that much don't I. After I've suffered the flames hell? Don't I deserve to be surrounded by people who want me? What have I done to be so cursed?"

"Millie, you aren't like everyone else," he growled.

"I didn't ask to be this way, it's how I was born! Why am I damned over something I have no control over? If I could change it I would, in a heart beat."

"It is not fair but we have to deal with these injustices."

"We?! What injustice do you deal with?!" I asked standing.

"You are forgetting the responsibilities of a noble."

"Oh shut up you spoiled twit! People would kill to have what you have."

"They would do the same for your position."

"Of course they would. They don't know you, know how you used to be."

"Used to?"

"You used to care. You used to worry whether or not I was feeling okay. How much I missed my father, how much my mother hurt me, everything. Now you only care because you could lose a piece in your games to someone else. Someone who wouldn't play with me at all, who'd cherish and protect me. Someone who wouldn't sell me off to the highest bidder if the situation called for it."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. He held my face roughly and looked me in the eyes with an icy glare. My whole body trembled in fear. I couldn't speak from the way he held my face.

"Remember when we'd sit in the middle of your father's maze and play with the fish. How I'd look up at you in wonder every time you would let the fish nibble on your finger. Remember after your first kill how you cried. You were maybe thirteen then. I held you until you stopped crying. Then you began entertaining the affections of Leo. I knew he was no good. The moment you had to hide your seeing me I knew. I just didn't have the heart to tell you because you looked so happy. I missed being with you though. I tried telling you...Then we had that argument and I pushed you away. That's when I met Rachel. I wanted to forget about you but you were so damned happy without me! It was infuriating. So I did what I had to to make you notice me again. You were pregnant and everything was going fine. When you lost your child, I couldn't relate to your pain, I still can't, but I felt it every time I looked in to your eyes, and it was unfair to make me feel something so terrible. So, I distanced myself to let you get over it. Then when you all but fell into the manor that terrible night, the first night he hurt you, I realized what I had done. I had left you alone to face him...but if I got any closer he would hurt you even more. I thought about killing him, but you were still in love, swearing that you just fell down the stairs. What was I to do? You were so set on sticking with that idiot and it was so aggravating, how dare you be so stupid? So I went away again until you learned, then it was too late he had already broken you. I couldn't bare the sight of you! You were more than capable of killing him, why did you wait so long?"

"I didn't want to be a monster," I whispered looking into his chilling eyes.

"So you let him be the monster?"

"I..."

"Yes, brilliant! Then your father died and you lived with your aunts until they started beating you too. You are so damn stupid! You are prone to masochism! And now I'm trying to caution you and you are stuck on my supposed wrong doings." He yelled.

"Do you even hear yourself! You consistently left when I needed you must. You also left out the part when you told me to let Leo court me because it was the best hope a girl like me had for marriage! Don't make yourself seem like a saint. Because the times you said you pushed me away is when I became a tool," I said pushing him away,"I helped you get Funtom! How many men did I 'persuade' to build your empire?"

He was silent.

"I'm tired. So tired of taking care of you. I'm tired of drowning and never dying. Either I am saved or I fall in to the dark waters now!"

"Millie, please. You are not leaving," he said with a smirk.

"We'll see."

"I won't let you." He said his eyes hardening.

"Then I'll have to kill you." I glared back.

"Then let the game begin," he let me go and walked away.

My eyes were suddenly swimming and I screamed in anger. I turned and shredded through the curtains in my fit of rage. I cried loudly not caring who heard. My lungs burned for air and I struggled to pull it in, the lump in my throat making it near impossible. I will get away even if I have to kill him. No mater what.


End file.
